Woah I knew this post was big but I have to separate it into two posts haha. :) You guys get another song at least! _

(For you sadistic people and pretty much everyone else too I guess; you’ll love this one. If it’s happened to you, how’d it make you feel, if I may ask? It made me want to call tall buildings my friend, honestly… The others, with nothing like that going on, how do you think it’d make you feel?)

For this 4th “lady”, well, I can only hope I don’t come across any others like her in any way and I really hope you don’t either. a lot has made me suicidal and nothing’s really came as close as this one.

What the hell’s wrong with her? Mmm, it’s hard to say where I should start.

At first, she was promising and incredible. I’ve never felt anyone be as interested in me as she was. I’ve never felt as much care from anyone other than her or my Mother.

She, well, she made me feel loved. That’s what she gave me and it’s something I’ve haven’t really felt. Maybe twice, at most.

It was fucking beautiful.

But… what I felt was false. What I felt was onesided, and honestly what I felt was only warm on one side. What I gave to her was where warmth came from and in the end everything she gave me was about as cold as landmines.

Why’s that? well, it’s because everything was a lie. Not on or from my side, I gave only truths and promises.

Like when she made me feel so badly about her living situation and about what her family does to her that I said that I could be the Brother she should have had, not those ones that sexually torment her with their father.

Like every stupid creation I ever gave her to help her feel better. I gave a message that was bascially “I know that we’re on opposite sides of the worlds and that our cities are different. But, if we slept around the same time, would that be like resting together?” I don’t know how that seems to you all, probably corny or just stupid or something but all I meant with it was nothing but sweet.

Fun fact I feel you should know, this lady was a 22+ hour flight away (supposedly). Sex is not why I was interested in her. I liked her sexually, she was super cute to me, but I liked her. I wanted life to be better for her and I even told her that it’s fine for her to say that her life could only become better with me gone from it and I would gladly leave if it’d make her happy.

She never told me that though, so I figured everything was fine. :)

“I don’t know what talking to me does for you but for my it makes me really happy and it makes me feel so less alone.”

^ I gave a lot of random things like that and the other to her, usually I just felt like it’s something she could use hearing, I know it’d make me feel great if someone put anywhere near the same effort for me and I figured it’d be that way for her to since her life was pretty similar.


Between us sounds something probably pretty, I hope. It sounds like something going on, doesn’t it? A relationship… Well, I thought we had something to.

I am the biggest idiot though for thinking that and for anything of everything I ever said or did for her. …I’d… if I could go back I’d rather take all the time spent on her and just watch it disappear. I don’t even want it back I just want it gone.

…I wish I could have taken that time I gave only for her away and give it to my Brother. He died before I even met her, but those bonus three months with my brother would’ve been beautiful and I can’t ever have that.

(I spoke of something I probably shouldn’t have, fair warning that I may seem more upset or kind of mad now, I’m sorry for it.)

She was a liar. The worst and biggest one I’ve ever known. Liar doesn’t sound like nearly enough for what she is, she’s awful.

This change is sudden, huh? Would you like to know why? It’s what she lied about.

Everything.

She told me that a member of her family died recently, but this was untrue I later found out. She told me that she’s forced upon and touched by her family, this was untrue, she’s never been touched in any way like that. She told me that she’s poor, but she is very far from poor. She told me that she likes me, that she thinks I’m attractive and that I’m even hot, but actually she just says that I’m about the furthest thing from what she finds attractive.

She even told me that she’s never been in a relationship… But she’s actually been in one for the last 6 years.

There are some lies I’m leaving out. Here’s to quarter of a year wasted on the worst person I know. thanks lady…


I tried to keep these all in order, form oldest to newest.

I’ve been here for like 2 + hours writing though so I’m going to be quick with this one.

for this final woman, I ruined everything. It was just and only me. I wish she wasn’t so sudden to banish me away, but it’s all because of me that it happened.

I’m not sure if it sounds like I did something really bad, but I kept “flying off the handle” when I was chatting to her, in her words. I never felt like I was, but she surely did, and I hate myself for not honouring her wishes more properly.

What hurts me here though is she’s one of the best looking people I’ve seen anywhere in my life and I made it so she couldn’t want anyhting to do with me when she surprisingly was interested.

So interested she even agreed to go out with me. :)

Even without the looks aspect it was still absolutely horrible of me.

TL;DR Well, that’s all of my experiences really. Anything that was more than clear disinterest or pointless talking. Or scammers lol.

The last 4 of those are from this year. So since 2009 There’s been 5 opportunities. All went to crap though and some were just torturous.

A lot of people “go through” like hundreds of interested people a day. However, it takes me 13 years just to get lied to by someone I like a lot.

I want advice for having things go the way the likely go for you. I doubt anyone’s gone 13 years of active trying just to have nothing happen except atrocity.

13 years go by for me and I can’t even get one relationship; 13 years go by for pretty much anyone else but especially someone great looking and they’d have dipped into half of the city likely.

Supposedly I’m kind of cute too! so WTF, I really don’t get this stupid bullshite

I mean, I know why most people feel good and I bet it’s cause they can get relationships. I think 13 years of trying’s going to make someone feel pretty bad, I mean, there’s people who don’t even have pictures or anyhting that do better than that. I can try and do worse than anyone lol.

I love it…