alright. not a lot of interaction here. so I’ll keep posting about this hell-about

yay?

This business with the invisible roads is also quite messy. but maybe works? i dunno… cars don’t really spawn

yeah. that’s a google maps shot… here’s what i’m cooking up right now. surface networks and invisible roads

Thank you. Those are some actionable tips for me.

This really stuck in my head today and I’m still processing your message. Thank you so much for taking the time to write it, it means a lot.

Hey that means a lot. Oceans and landmasses are in the way, but I appreciate you.

So the number. Out of 50, 30 are just my colleagues. I didn’t all invite them individually, a few I did, but mostly I gave a group invite. It’s quite usual for the colleagues to hang out together, go to stuff together. So that leaves 20 people I invited by hand.

Thanks. Those are good points. I’m 40. I’ve been to therapy. And it’s not like I can just go, there’s no spots, no therapists, no waiting lists. I have a social therapist who’s okay, I guess. I’m on bupropion, but after about 2,5-3 years, I finally want to get off it. I hate being on antidepressants so long, I’ve had bad experiences with taking them too long.

The hard thing about learning these mental patterns and tools as a person with ADD seems to me, like I have to learn them again and again and again…

I’ve been diagnosed about 2-3 years ago only…

I’m glad it worked out for you so far. Good luck out there

Thanks for the insights. I don’t think I can say I had fun or similar, when I didn’t. I had anxiety the whole night and felt incredibly awkward and ashamed.

Yeah thanks for the advice and the wishes. I think you’re exactly right about how those conversations could turn out. So I guess something uncommitting like you suggested is a good start …

I like the idea with the smaller dinners. Sadly, people don’t come around my place. It’s a bit out of the way. And I thought the “bigger” plans are exactly good for the kind of conversations where you aren’t too close with the people and you can get closer with them. In a café/restaurant/bar/living room setting, you have to do small talk…

Ja danke. Ich bin schon relativ gut auf meine Medikamente eingestellt. Aber ein lebenslanges Trauma löst sich nicht mal eben so

“Freut mich” dass mein Post dich dazu animiert hat.

Thank you. That means a lot and I hope your situation improves, too.

I wrote it in another comment: I can see how it’s partly not about me. Everyone had a specific and relatable and legit reason not to come. Just in the collection it also is indicative of my standing. So apparently I don’t have 50 friends, I don’t appeal to people in general and I don’t pull people who have ever the slightest reason not to go.

Danke. Das ist gerade sehr mein Thema. Ich habe darüber gerade einen aktiven Thread auf der englischsprachigen Community hier laufen.

Was dem Artikel und auch den anderen Quellen fehlt (und mir auch) ist ein: wie gehe ich als Betroffener damit um? Wie kommuniziere ich Anderen, dass es mir wichtig ist, mich zugehörig zu fühlen? Wie sage ich, dass es mir weh tut, mich durch ihr Verhalten abgelehnt zu fühlen? Und das ohne sie vor den Kopf zu stoßen? Oder tut man so als wäre nichts? (Und wenn ja, wie geht das???)

Thanks. That’s a real answer to my question. I’m just so tired of trying…

I think they don’t know how important it was for me. And I don’t think that I can tell them.

Thanks for the perspective. I don’t know what to learn from it. Reading the comments here makes me think that many of us learn the same dark lessons: don’t socialise, stay alone.

But again: how do I respond to “how was the partyyyy?!”(Big smiles)

I am sorry for you, too.

I try to take solace from many people feeling the same. But it all collects. There’s lots of people who feel a similar way and they can’t ever get together, because that’s exactly what we’re not capable of…

Thanks.

It’s a bit disheartening that so many people relate but nobody can really help me with my question as to what to do now…

Thank you. I’ll save your comment to read it again :)

I think I can try throwing advice back to you: why not try and be part of the plans of the other people? I only too late realised that I didn’t spend time with people because I thought they didn’t want me to. And now I’m sitting here with nobody.

Just to say: this is what AI is useful for. It can translate the whole thing to an okay standard if you want it to.