The oniony part of this story is that someone thought lunchables were an adequate lunch meal to begin with.

Heavy Metal Crackers is a cool band name, but not a cool thing to serve to kids.

It’s more of a snackable. The blandest low grade meat and cheese you can find. I love cheese and crackers, but I would pass on Lunchables.

My coworker, who moved from Europe, showed me the menu his kid has for lunch in school because he was infuriated with the options they had. It was indeed terrible. Junk food and empty calories.