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The part about asking the question “I stopped caring about the consequences of my actions” really resonates. I was a depressed teen and sadness and hopelessness was killing me so as a coping mechanism I stopped caring about the consequences of my actions or anything in the world. This helped protect me from a lot of the sadness but let to more violent, risky and destructive behavior. I felt unlocked and like I could do anything because nothing mattered. I kept using the reasoning “well before I wanted to kill myself so this is an improvement and I can’t end up worse off” Dangerous mentality to have.
I’ve also never understood what people expect when they tell you to “get help” from who no one gives a fuck its only me looking out for me.
Hope you’re doing better. Also agree it’s not as easy as just “get help”, even some places with public healthcare don’t include mental health which is pretty messed up.
I’m doing good. I feel like I’m thriving but I’m still pretty lonely and don’t often socialize.
I’ve heard pretty bad things about therapy they have poor outcome percentages. Very few people actually get better after a year of therapy. A year of therapy can be tens of thousands of dollars.
I’ve been in therapy since i was a teenager (am 36 now). I can say, with a lot of determination, shit can get better with therapy. I was always trying to kill myself 20 years ago. now I haven’t been to hospital in like 2 years.
How can you afford 20 years of therapy? I feel like that’s a crippling amount of money.
it was free.
Nice. It would have to be free, I would never want to pay for it at the rates that are charged.
yup. it’s pretty bullshit that mental health isn’t free, yet a lot of other medical stuff is (at least where i live)
More importantly how can you afford that but not a yearly basic check up with your doctor?
The yearly check up seems to be an American concept designed by a medical industry that make money the more often they have to see you. In countries with national health services you’re more likely to just see a doctor as and when you need it.
Your americanism is showing :)
as the other commenter said, that’s a somewhat uniquely american thing. I just visit the doctor when something is wrong with me. If there’s nothing wrong, there’s no need to go to the doctor.
If you have good insurance it’s no nearly that much. Weekly, with good insurance, you’re looking at ~$20-30. Without insurance, with a payment plan for low income individuals, you can find discounted care around $60-70/session fairly easily. They didn’t check my income when I was offered that, just in response to me mentioning I might need to quit when my insurance was shit for a year or two.
The Secular Therapy Project may be worth looking at. It focuses on specifically finding non-theist care providers, but as I understand it, you’ll be less likely to find non-evidence based providers, so somewhat better outcomes.
Ultimately, therapy is a space for you to work through your own issues with the help of a trained professional who can guide you, but imprecisely. They’ll offer tools, and it’s up to you to figure out how to use them in a way that suits you. The tools can work, but only so much as you are willing to learn to apply them for your own benefit. Some will suit you better than others. It’s hard to have that much patience to continue trying new approaches, introspecting, and growing two steps forward and one step back, but it’s worth it. Ultimately, as cliche as this probably sounds, every day you’re putting in that effort, trying to see the good, reaching towards contentedness and your dreams, is a small victory. It’s a step in the right direction.
*these prices are for US healthcare prividers. It may be different elsewhere.
Damn right its different elsewhere, I got therepy on the NHS for free.
I have to agree. I would do drugs, alcohol etc. I would attempt suicide many many times. Now I am left a shell of the person i used to be, and I’m pretty sure i have brain damage. All because i stopped caring about the consequences.
