As an autist (not a woman though so at least my “coldness” is somewhat socially acceptable), it tends to feel like these sorts of people are way shittier at understanding me than I am at understanding them; even though supposedly that’s where MY deficit is. Maybe your conventions do not contain some essential characteristic of humanity or rational normative notions about social interaction, just social hegemony and suppression of diversity of thought
these people could not possibly give less of a fuck about learning new things or figuring out how other people think, as is common courtesy. it’s all just elaborate ways to jerk off about how fucking superior they are to everyone else. you’re 100% correct
I would have a hard time coming up with a worse thing to say.