What the hell is this perfect picture?
IKR!!!
Wtf how is the onion supposed to keep up with this shit
By waiting until people are used to their shit and posting completely normal stories about them. No one would believe them.
"Republican has a change of heart when their 12 year old daughter gets pregnant, now supports abortion. "
No, I think that one’s fairly common. So is just “Republican gets pregnant, now supports abortion - but only for her specific circumstances”.
The only moral abortion is my abortion
A long read but relevant just as much today as it was 23 years ago when published.
“Rules for thee but not for me”
Okay, that’s a red flag. Someone check his hard drive.
If anything objectionable comes up, your accountability partner gets an immediate notice. I’m proud to tell ya, my son has got a clean slate.
“Myself, on the other hand? Petabytes of CSAM.”
“My son knows how to use a VPN”
Cue random VPN sponsor
Maaaaaaaaark!
I’ve completed Netflix!
Nah this stuff is full on spyware having a VPN wouldn’t stop it from triggering. This is the software Josh Sugar had installed on his PC turns out partitioning the hard drive and installing another OS will get around it.
I think his son checks it often.
…Wait, were you intending innuendo or not?
50,000 files of drag queens and transgender porn show up
god these people are fucking weird. so fucking weird.
deleted by creator
Organized religion destroys who we are or who we can be by inhibiting our actions and decisions out of fear of an intangible parent-figure who shakes a finger at us from thousands of years ago and says “No, no!”
–Kevin Smith, Dogma
Great quote. I can’t talk about Dogma without bringing up that time that Kevin Smith participated in a protest of his own film.
Among the sign-waving attendees was Smith himself, making absolutely not the slightest effort to disguise his appearance or voice.
“I don’t think [Dogma] stands for anything positive,” - Kevin Smith, being interviewed by a news reporter while cheerfully participating in a protest of his film, Dogma.
https://www.avclub.com/back-in-1999-kevin-smith-joined-the-protests-against-h-1798246714
yep.
You spelled weird wrong.
It’s spelled, *psycho.I remember this kind of stuff back from my days as an evangelical Christian…they applaud this kind of nonsense, even though every single one of the users of this kind of software has some way around it. Purity culture craziness.
he installed “accountability software” called Covenant Eyes on his devices in order to abstain from internet porn
Covenant Eyes sounds like some Handmaid’s Tale shit.
Hey, I have a local cult that uses that software.
https://www.dwellchurchcolumbusisacult.com/
They also like to pack a bunch of students into one apartment and then charge each of them $700*/month in rent.
*(Don’t take my word on the numbers.)
Oh wow, I didn’t know Xenos Church changed their name. Trying to mask themselves with a name change.
They also use a bunch of other names for smaller groups that are really part of Xenos. They know the reputation follows them.
deleted by creator
Their tactics are pretty good and could get a lot of people, really. They do what’s called “love bombing”. One of them will befriend you, and invite you somewhere. You won’t realize you’re being targeted for recruitment. For that outing, the goal of nearly everyone there will be to make sure YOU are having a good time and feel accepted.
They’ll try to draw you in deeper, maybe try to get you to go to a Bible study (even if you aren’t religious.) If you have other friends, they’ll either try to draw them in with you, or they’ll do what they can to distance you from them. Even something as simple as hearing you have plans and then inviting you somewhere else on that day.
Eventually they’ll push a little harder on trying to get you to conform. If that goes well, they’ll try to get you to move in. At that point it’s a lot harder to extract yourself. They’ll try to keep you so busy with activities that you don’t have time for anything else.
During all this, they’ll try to get you to share personal things. It’s okay to talk about your sins, that’s how you get past them.
Past that point, if you try to extract they’ll start to use those things against you. Did you tell them about child abuse or pictures or something about a boyfriend/girlfriend? As discouragement from dissidence, they’ll hold meetings where they discuss those things as a topic. They have spyware on your phone at this point, so they may share anything embarrassing there they can find. They’ll threaten to tell your parents all the sins you’ve admitted.
It’s pretty insidious.
deleted by creator
Under his eye.
Under his eye.
I swear, every week I see an article that makes me say, “oh shit, The Handmaid’s Tale is starting”
Next step up from using confession material for blackmailing parishioners
I get that lots of jokes are to be made about the porn part but what really should be concerning everyone is that the current Speaker of the House pays a third party to snoop on every aspect of his phone.
Was he using his personal phone for any of his duties in Congress?
Is he still using this phone with even more potentially secret government information as a member of the Gang of 8?
This is a MASSIVE security risk, who the fuck knows what information this Covenant Eyes “company” is now privy to.
ETA: From a Wired article from Sept 2022: https://www.wired.com/story/covenant-eyes-anti-porn-accountability-monitoring-apps/
“But Covenant Eyes and Accountable2You do much more than just police pornography. When WIRED downloaded, decompiled, and tested Covenant Eyes and Accountable2You, we found that both apps are built to collect, monitor, and report all sorts of innocent behavior. The applications exploited Android’s accessibility permissions to monitor almost everything someone does on their phone. While the accessibility functionalities are meant to help developers build out features that assist people with disabilities, these apps take advantage of such permissions to either capture screenshots of everything actively being viewed on the device or detect the name of apps as they’re being used and record every website visited in the device’s browser.”
Emphasis mine. This is exactly what I’m talking about. Dude has this software on every one of his devices and now the Christofascists behind Covenant Eyes and any one willing to hack them, ie foreign governments, has screenshots of everything he is viewing. Massive massive security risk.
Covenant Eyes is what Anna Duggar was using to keep Josh Duggar accountable. He’s been in jail for like a year now for CSAM. Pretty sure C.E. is just a data mining operation that uses fundie fear to make money.
deleted by creator
What a made up concern lol. He would just use a different phone.
What is your source for this?
Should he? Absolutely, his personal phone with this tracking software should never be anywhere near the Capitol.
Dude doesn’t even have a bank account, show everyone the proof that he’s actually using a different, secure phone. Never assume Republicans are doing what’s secure, there is absolutely no proof that they do.
Once upon a time I didn’t think a president would hide classified documents in a bath tub or Tweet to the entire world our satellite surveillance capabilities, yet here we are.
He would? Or he did?
If he uses a second phone, does that not immediately undermine the point of showing his porn to his son? Since any secret porn his son would tattle to god about he would just watch on the second phone, yes?
This is a pretty massive concern. He keeps US secrets for fucks sake.
Lol, that would completely defeat the purpose. He absolutely used the same phone.
Same software the Duggar pedo used?
abuse software for abusers
Is porn intake measured in sieverts or mW/cm² or what?
What level is considered safe?
Asking for a friend.
Npps aka Naked People Per Second
Not to be confused with NiPS. (Nipples per second) Which indicates how many definitely female nipples are in view per second. This is a better metric as many scenes are shown with partial clothing and therefore don’t get counted in the NPPS metric correctly.
Ahem, they are called “female presenting nipples”
Pretty sure it’s millipervs.
With this guy, it’s more like megapervs.
The equivalent of 3 McDonald’s cheeseburgers consumed in their playground ball pit per week
I think the SI unit is faps but the Americans still use yanks.
I come to think about ajph (arousal jumps per hour) 🤔
So what you’re telling me is, that Johnson and his little Johnson measure the usage of each other’s Johnsons?
Ok, how many burner phones does he have?
Dude, I’m willing to bet the son has at least one.
“I’m proud to tell ya, my son has got a clean slate.”
A quote like this tempts fate. I thought he was trying to avoid temptation.
There is no normal, only weird and weirder. Beware the normies, for they are least normal of us all.
As a parent, thats just some shit you don’t wanna know. Like idgaf if its furry or scat shit keep it to yourself, kid.
Removed by mod
Sounds like it’s a good thing you don’t have kids, but you also might change your priorities if and when you have them
I’m not saying I would hate them or disown them or anything, just that it would bother me. It’s like, what if you found out that your kids watched midget amputee scat porn? Would you be like “ok that’s normal, carry on!”?
I would remember why I already knew that I never wanted to know what porn my kids watch. I would only have a problem with abusive types of porn, that would require a talk about consent, respect and boundaries.
Removed by mod
How is it that furry gets scorn, but scat skates right by without comment?
They’re both fucked up, but at least scat porn is two (or more) humans not humans dressed as animals fucking each other.
Furries are just fucking weird, man. Some things just shouldn’t be normalized.
Says “Pete the cat”
It’s not as much fun to make fun of Germans as it is to say fursecution.
Removed by mod
Ugh, let people enjoy things. As fetishes go, furry is way down the harm scale.
Removed by mod
Mike Johnson is a walking argument for voting against 70+ year-old geriatrics who can’t string together coherent sentences.
All it takes is one exceedingly unlucky accident and that motherfucker becomes president.
It’s a bit bonkers that the way the American system works can so easily result in a president who is a member of the other party.
That’s by design, sadly.
And not only that, a majority of voters seem perfectly content with it.
Isn’t this the kind of thing TOR and a private browsing session was made for? Additionally this is just bizarre.
Maybe it’s a way to make sure they don’t forget. Like “oh hey bro i saw u had some lewds in ur history make sure u go incognito next time” “Damn u right man good lookin out” fist bump
Its really creepy and intrusive. But at the same time, I can find really fucked up porn with literally zero effort.
I mean, if your kid has terrabytes of rough incest bdsm porn people will ask why you werent monitoring their internet use, but monitoring them like this feels like a different kind of weird.
Shit, if your kid has terabytes of train videos you need to intervene. Terabytes of any specific thing and… son we need to talk
Thats what I mean, how do you know unless you’re either using this shit or searching the HDD. I was a kid back when porn was Jpgs traded on floppy disks or grainy 480x320 10 second realplayer clips.
Why did that make me feel so nostalgic?
Because if you’re as old as I am nost of the ladies in those images and videos are now retired… like OAP retired.
Keep talking…
He’s taking about his kid monitoring him as well.
Lets be real here, the “Kid” is 17.
Now I dont know what a healthy father/son relationship looks like because I never had one but it seems to me that knowing “Dad likes blondes with big tits” might be slightly less scarring than being left entirely to your own devices with no oversight and going down a rabbit hole of xvideos fetish porn.
Theres 2 kinds of men in the world. Those that have beaten their dick, and fucking liars. Maybe this shit is weird and creepy, and maybe they have had honest and open discussions about sex and he is trying to give his son healthy attitudes towards it.
If the knowledge was only dad’s preferences in women, sure, mostly harmless. The damaging part of this would be the villianification sexual desire. You’re telling someone that a normal part of having a body is wrong and you should feel shame for it. You’re also thrusting the responsibility for the parent’s impulses onto a minor.
I’m also not naive enough to believe that they had any serious, healthy discussions about sexual urges beforehand. This is the right, its just indoctrinating them onto the shame and guilt spiral as soon as possible.
deleted by creator
