Since I was a kid, I failed so hard at being a guy. I’ve always been hopeless at athletics. My body type has always been pretty meek (let me not doxx myself and say more). I hate any sort of competitive environment. I can’t hold my liquor for shit. I have a very high pitched voice and an expressive way of talking. Friends have described my voice as a “gay twang”. My mum probably assumed that I was gay from day one, as I got a lot of “it’s OK to be gay” from her growing up. Sadly I had too much soy or not enough soy, because I grew up attracted to women.
Maybe you old comrades remember, but schools in the 90s were full of homophobia. “That’s so gay” criticised any action that deviated from some masculine ideal. I got this multiple times a day, and I learned to stifle my personality to avoid the rebuke of my male non-friends. I’m not even complaining, there’s so so many that had it way worse than I did.
Nowadays it’s great being a flamboyant straight dude. I can be as sweet, as empathetic, and as expressive as I want. I have cute and colourful clothing. I get really ecstatic around animals. I cry. People like me for being fun and engaged with stuff. Nowadays if some guy colleague says that’s “gay” it’s like 
“are you alright mate??”
I did go some LGBT events and actions in the past, but not a lot. If I do anything positive, it’s to enforce no homophobic language with my students, which guys has gotten a lot easier in the past 20 years. Really, the kids nowadays are much better than we were. OK, I have hooked up with a few dudes here and there, but it feels like stolen valour to call myself bi.
So thanks a whole lot to all the queer people who have made my life much easier, when I’ve done so little.
I appreciate the supportive reply. It’s just that I don’t feel super attracted to men most of the time. Maybe I’ve absorbed the reactionary idea that kids are choosing to be gay because it’s cool, but I hate to take the spotlight from my gay friends who have it much harder than I do.
Lol, my analysis feels really bad.
otherwise known as The Bi Experience for a lot of people, tbh
It doesn’t help that the typically bro type of guy is so unattractive to me, and they’re the most typically type I meet. If a guy is into music, books, or anything non-typical, isn’t a football fanatic, doesn’t smoke or drink, OK I can feel some attraction. Sorry if the above describes anyone. Bros are fine, I just don’t want to kiss them.
idk why but im attracted to the most disgusting men. e.g. frat bros that have beer bellies and wear camo 24/7
someone fix my brain
I think that being attracted to bellies and camo is fine. But if you’re attracted to jerks, like I used to be, maybe you have the same problem I do and it’s self esteem??? Sorry to randomly guess at your issue.
That’s just having a type. Personally I’m not into macho guys either (or very feminine girls). You could literally only be into fem twinks and still be 100% bi. Being attracted to members of the same gender to the point you’d fuck is honestly pretty inherently queer
I’d imagine most queer people don’t want the spotlight. They just want to be able to exist, so normalizing labels like bi is a plus. Some agender/NBies give similar reasons as to why they don’t identify as trans and no one whose opinion is worth caring (so excluding transmeds) about want people to be afraid of using the label for themselves. Likewise with people who would like to use they/them pronouns, but don’t feel trans enough and are worried using their language for yourself. Bring a to use the pronouns you want, whether you are cis or trans, is something most trans people want.
Likewise, people who commit bi-erasure have opinions not worth caring about. Your type for guys doesn’t need to be any sort of stereotypical guy for you to call yourself bi.
But there is no requirement to use such labels either.
Adding that, it’s perfectly valid to say you’re bi if you would never consider having a long term romantic relationship with a man, you only do that with women, but you are willing to have casual hookups with men.
Yeah this honestly sounds like a degree of internalized biphobia from growing up in a backwards era. I wonder if OP grew up today they’d have different revelations.
I convinced myself I was 100% straight despite same-sex attraction until about 14/15, solely because I could only see myself with a girl. Looking back it was cognitive dissonance, I very much wanted to fuck guys and that’s pretty bi.
I also think I mind-blocked myself idea to the idea of same-sex romance from some pretty strong heteronormative societal conditioning. I feel like sexual attraction is uncontrollable, while romantic gender attraction is more mental and environmental, but with decades of conditioning, is probably extremely hard to change. There’s plenty of gay men who’ll tell you they are/were into guys exclusively sexually and women exclusively romantically. But afaik, sexual attraction is the main definer for sexuality
You can be bisexual but only hetero/homoromantic.