I’m not talking about any facial-hair style that includes a beard. I’m talking about these guys who have brought back the “just a moustache, and it’s a really ugly, really creeper-ish moustache” style.

You see this shit on influencers, pro sports players in every league, random motherfuckers working at Wal-Mart, random dudes out in public, professionals in all industries, and anywhere else you can think of. Just everywhere. It seems to cut across all social strata. I particularly see this shit on white dudes, but maybe a lot of Black, Latino, and Asian dudes are doing it, too, and I just haven’t noticed as much, because (I guess this could be controversial???) it just doesn’t look nearly as bad on those guys.

But these young white dudes, rocking the 1970s creepo 'stache really are everywhere AND I JUST DON’T FUCKING UNDERSTAND.

Guys, it’s fucking hideous. It looks good on NOBODY. Occasionally, you’ll see a guy with one of these, and he’s just so naturally, GQ-cover handsome that he powers through the debuff, and still looks okay. But that same guy would look EVEN BETTER if he didn’t have a horrible moustache.

Please stop. I don’t know if this is some kind of ironic thing, or if it started as an ironic thing, only to become normalized. But just please stop.

Especially stop, if you legit cannot grow a moustache. Either shave that shit or pair it with a beard of some description. Obviously, I’m an asshole for telling you what to do with your face, but as a middle-aged guy, I just feel like saying this shit, as advice if nothing else.

I remember when ugly-ass, creepy-ass moustaches were still in fashion, in the 1980s. They were awful and ugly. And then people regained their sanity. But then, somehow, that shit came back, about ten or twelve years ago. And that shit needs to be sent back to fashion hell.