Why YSK: These email tips are helpful for people who struggle with boundaries and want to communicate more assertively.

  • deweydecibel@lemmy.world
    141·
    2 years ago

    Some of these are good, some are just needlessly assertive nonsense. Especially the two where it’s actively refusing to acknowledge fault or apologize for it, which is standard PR crap. Refusing to apologize and instead saying “thanks for your patience” is what I expect to hear from my ISP when they miss their scheduled install, not from a coworker.

    There’s nothing wrong with being a normal human being that is capable of admitting their own shortcomings. If never saying sorry means “being a boss” then that explains why there’s so many sociopaths as CEOs.

    “Hope that make sense?” Vs “Let me know if you have any questions.”

    The latter is saying “here’s the explanation, figure it out, bother me again if you can’t”. The fromer, while poorly worded, is being helpful, actively attempting to make sure the person understands before leaving them to it. It’s both a kindness and doing your due diligence.

    • Sanguine@lemmy.world
      6·
      2 years ago

      Seriously… and oftentimes just combining both works better. “Hey sorry I’m late, I appreciate you all being patient” or “Hope that all makes sense, but please feel free to ask any questions if they come up”

    • almar_quigley@lemmy.world
      3·
      2 years ago

      I’m so happy to see a sane comment at the top here. So many of these are just stupid and border on alpha male don’t take not shit or admit fault crap.

      • mars@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
        0·
        2 years ago

        I think it goes the other way too. For people that tend to apologize too much, even when it’s not their fault, mixing in a “thanks for your patience” is a good way to balance it out a bit.

        • theneverfox@pawb.socialEnglish
          1·
          2 years ago

          I’m torn. I feel like admitting guilt and owning up to your failures is a virtue, but I’m not sure the rest of the world agrees with me

          Neurotypical enough to read body language, neurodivergent enough to never understand why

          • almar_quigley@lemmy.world
            0·
            2 years ago

            I’m with you. Just being honest about a failure is fine. Doesn’t have to be a dramatic apology, just an acknowledgment with a bit of regret perhaps.

        • almar_quigley@lemmy.world
          0·
          2 years ago

          That makes sense. I think that’s a different issue than I was thinking. Ultimately if it’s a sincere comment I think that’s the most important thing.

    • neardeaf@lemm.ee
      0·
      2 years ago

      Agreed! It’s like…. You know we’re emailing other people too right? Not everyone is a delicate fucking flower that needs to be coddled. Yes there are better ways to word stuff, but typing as a medium often just leaves too much up to interpretation. A difficult conversation should be discussed on a call.

  • Arotrios@kbin.social
    4·
    2 years ago

    My personal ones for corporate use:

    • Never use I when you can use we.

    • Even if you’re the only one working on a project, never refer to it as yours. Always refer to it as ours.

    • Don’t apologize, present solutions.

    • Don’t say “read my fucking email again you goddamn illiterate moron”, say “As previously noted in our communications…”

    • Sharkwellington@lemmy.one
      0·
      2 years ago

      Most? I can definitely see “when can I expect an update?”, that one’s terrible. “It would be best if we” sounds pretty self-assured without a modifier such as “in my opinion” (which is what the original option was doing). “Nice catch!” is also a bit too honeyed and casual as well. But I don’t see a problem with the rest of them.

      • Chrisosaur@startrek.website
        0·
        2 years ago

        I actually like nice catch, as long as it’s not an egregious error. There are often going to be mistakes in a document, even when prepared by someone completely competent. This acknowledges someone as being part of a process instead of focusing on an error.

    • Burstar@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      0·
      2 years ago

      I agree, but, you’d be surprised how many people find many of these seemingly innocuous distinctions offensive (if only a little bit). For example, I was once chided by HR for saying ‘no problem’ during a seemingly friendly discussion.

  • aloeha@lemmy.world
    1·
    2 years ago

    God I hate forced formality like this. This is the kind of shit Gen Z and millennials are rebelling against and I’m all for it. It is stupid for us to encourage people to be themselves and then to expect them to act like a completely different person at work, including the way they talk.

    • ickplant@lemmy.worldOP
      01·
      2 years ago

      You may see it as forced formality, but these tips were created by a person with ADHD to help others who struggle with setting boundaries, especially with time. The creator is a Millennial comic artist. It helps me be more myself when I respect my schedule and don’t over-apologize, but I can understand that not everyone sees it the same way.

      • aloeha@lemmy.world
        1·
        2 years ago

        I think you can do all of the things you said without being overly formal about everything! For reference I have ADHD too. ☺️

        • ickplant@lemmy.worldOP
          0·
          2 years ago

          I honestly don’t see these as being overly formal, but I worked in finance and real estate legal compliance for many years and that may have warped my perception. I think it all depends on your environment and how well the person reading this knows you (aka will they be able to recognize your intended tone?)

      • Smallletter@lemmy.world
        0·
        2 years ago

        People write work emails differently, but I write more like the “don’t” list than the “boss” list in most situations. I also rarely put much thought into it unless it’s an extremely delicate situation. The only problem I have with this post is it’s presumption that your way is the boss way and the other way is somehow inferior.

  • Djangofett@lemmy.ca
    1·
    2 years ago

    I attach a goatse to my email communicationsz tonrrally drive home the point of urgency in the face of devastating consequences.

    Follow me for more productivity tips.

  • Tar_alcaran@lemmy.world
    1·
    2 years ago

    “It’d be easier to discuss in person” means “I don’t want a record of this because it’s either illegal or shows my incompetence”.

    Any meeting that they want to talk about in writing should ALWAYS be recorded.

    • attempt@lemmy.world
      0·
      2 years ago

      To me calls are more about efficiency, I prefer to have a call and talk through a complex issue for 15 min instead of needing 5+ back and forth emails over an afternoon to get everyone on the same page.

    • madsen@lemmy.world
      0·
      2 years ago

      Yes, either that or “I haven’t thought this through well enough that I can explain it in writing, so please let me fumble through an oral explanation and—in all likelihood—waste your time”.

      Or, “I’m dyslectic and would prefer to talk rather than write”, which is fair enough, I think.

    • Steeve@lemmy.ca
      0·
      2 years ago

      Also, carefully laying thoughts out in text for 40 minutes takes a lot less time than explaining it meaningfully to multiple people, probably more than once if it was important enough. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.

  • bwhough@kbin.social
    1·
    2 years ago

    I greatly prefer some of the “wrong” ones. Not everyone needs to talk like a corporate robot.

  • mechoman444@lemmy.world
    0·
    2 years ago

    One really important thing I’ve learned is that you need to tell your employer when you need time off. You never request it.

    Another really important thing I learned is if you have a good relationship with your boss is to discuss or ask when it would be best for the company to take time off and try to arrange you schedule with those dates in mind.

    As an example of this, I like to take a vacation in the summer so I will usually discuss the best week I can do that with my boss because it’s not very importent to me exactly which week I want as long as it’s some time in the summer.

  • Drew Got No Clue@lemmy.world
    0·
    2 years ago

    I think it definitely depends on your relationship with the recipient. While I do think most of those are better options, I wouldn’t say they’re necessarily what you should write.

    • Stovetop@lemmy.world
      0·
      2 years ago

      Agreed, it is not always prudent to be overly assertive.

      For example, I may be working with someone else on a project that is not time sensitive, but for my own planning I like to stay up to date on progress. I absolutely would reach out to someone with a “Just checking in, how are things going with X” because, well, that’s honestly all I’m doing. Checking in.

      Meanwhile, saying “When can I expect an update?” is almost like saying “I don’t think you’re going fast enough and I’m getting impatient,” which sends the wrong type of message, makes me seem like a hardass, and might impact the quality of work if the other person suddenly feels rushed.

  • TowardsTheFuture@vlemmy.net
    0·
    2 years ago

    Saying It’d be easier to discuss in person comes off as “I can’t legally put this in writing because it’s against your contract” and not “this is hard to word/explain.” Lol. This is straight PR shit.

    • bleistift2@feddit.de
      0·
      2 years ago

      I hate people doing that. It means that they can’t be bothered to think about their problem and what it actually is that they want from me.

      If you can’t put it in words, you can’t put it in words. Changing the medium from mail to sound won’t help. Thinking will.

      • kittyrunningnoise@lemm.ee
        0·
        2 years ago

        that’s not necessarily what it means. some things legitimately are easier to explain in person. ever try working out a complicated mathematical argument in an email? one can do it, but it’s not pretty. in person you can write on paper, draw figures, etc., synchronously with your compatriot observing and even participating. it’s not merely a change of medium from text to sound.

          • MBM@lemmings.world
            0·
            2 years ago

            In a personal meeting you instantly get feedback on what the other understands and what needs in-depth explanation, and they can ask questions. It’s nothing like an email conversation.

    • snooggums@kbin.social
      0·
      2 years ago

      Depends on who says it and whether they document it after. I do meet up to discuss when I have a lot of questions that will likely lead to questions, but I summarize it in a reply to the email so it is in writing.

      A past jerk of a boss used the same phrase to mean what you said, but since he didn’t put anything in writing none of the rants he called discussions mattered as he couldn’t use them against me.

    • ickplant@lemmy.worldOP
      0·
      2 years ago

      This was created by a comic creator with ADHD. A lot of these are helpful for people with loose time boundaries.

  • Helldiver_M@kbin.social
    0·
    2 years ago

    While most of these are a good rule of thumb, I disagree with ‘Always Happy to Help.’ > ‘No Problem.’

    ‘I’m Always Happy to Help’ is a fine response, if you’re actually willing to make your time available for the recipient at the drop of a hat. Sometimes that’s called for, but I would only reserve it for a few very specific circumstances. I also don’t see an issue with saying ‘no problem’ most of the time. There are situations where something a little more formal is called for, but 90% of the time ‘no problem’ should work imho.

    • not_woody_shaw@lemmy.world
      0·
      2 years ago

      I feel like “always happy to help” is one of those London Lies ™(how do I do superscript?) …that might not work in another environment that’s not so superficially polite while simultaneously devastating rude. If the sender is in London, “always happy to help” can be transliterated as " I did your work for you, now fuck right off"

    • Lemmylefty@vlemmy.net
      0·
      2 years ago

      It’s also a generational thing: everyone around me up to the mid 30s uses “no problem” to indicate that the request/help was of little bother so the requester shouldn’t feel bad for asking, which can sometimes annoy the people who say “you’re welcome” instead.

      “Happy to help”, to me, suggests a greater eagerness than just being kind.