Astrealix@lemmy.world to

Poetry@lemmy.world · 1 year ago

[OC] The Silent Confusing Eye

1

5

[OC] The Silent Confusing Eye

Astrealix@lemmy.world to

Poetry@lemmy.world · 1 year ago

1

The Silent Confusing Eye

Drifting through a storm
Bracing, donning masks to
Keep the water out
Keep our faces warm

Heave, ho. Heave, ho.
The dread winds blow.
A spiral of doom takes
Our hearts into gloom

Churn the waters
flood the decks
tear ap art
typhoon slaughters

Then, calm. So strange.
Through the wall of death
Destruction no more can take hold
We are safe, we are aliv-

eANDTHESTORMRETURNS
THE EYE LEFT BEHIND
PANIC AND MANIC
THE SHIP UNPREPARED MUST FLY
OR SINK ITS CREW,
WHAT HEAVENS GONE AWRY

from the bottom of the sea, hello at the depths of my challenge see wreckage of imploded failure dead within the silent confusing eye of the impenetrable storm

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Imotali@lemmy.world
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1 year ago
I really like this poem and the powerful metaphor of a ship caught in a hurricane, hopelessly lost at sea. My only real critique would be of the first stanza in which you mention “donning masks” and to be wary of mixed metaphors.

Poetry@lemmy.world

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A community to celebrate published and OC works of poetry.

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