The programming team that is working hard on your project is just one dude and he smells funny. The programming team you’ve met in your introductory meeting are just the two unpaid interns that will be fired or will quit within the next two months and don’t know what’s happening. We don’t do agile despite advertising it. Also your project being a priority means it’ll be slapped together from start to finish 24 hours prior to the deadline. Oh and there will be extra charges to fix anything that doesn’t work as it should.
When you have a great programmer working on your project he will be cycled to a new project in 2-3 months. Your new senior developer who silently takes over the project is part time because he’s working on finishing his education.
No one knows how anything works, except that one guy, who left the company half a year ago. That’s how all software development is.
“The server mangles the authentication token after receiving it for reasons we don’t really understand, so this function just checks to see that it’s set in the request, but nothing actually cares if it’s valid. DO NOT RETURN USER ACCOUNT DATA HERE AND YES THAT MEANS YOU MARCUS”
In my company we have a very modern agile workflow where QA is top priority.
At least that what we advertise. In reality it’s all an unorganized clusterfuck where I’m pretty sure I am the only one who bothers to write automated tests. Who’s got time to write tests bro just push that shit out ASAP we’ll deal with it when the client calls us in the middle of the night to complain about previously-working shit being broken now.
Ironically, that was the one time I was working for a large, publicly-traded company (a big-box retailer, no less – not even one of the halfway-respectable Fortune 500s!).
A lot of outsourcers do this. Here’s my experience with a few companies.
The “team” you meet are competent, English speaking fronts. They are the demo models of the people who will work on your projects.
After the contract is signed, these people are swapped out with randos of varying competence.
In some cases, some of these randos are further hidden behind aliases: people with names that are actually more than one person sharing logins and passwords.
They will string you along, trying to charge maximum hours worked without regards to product or services delivered.
Most of these companies have a “bucket of crabs” mentality: the managers are horrible, the staff incompetent, and once the gain some skill, they leave for better companies. They backstab one another, hijack projects to fuck over coworkers, and lie and cover their tracks. Some of this is cultural, like a caste system, while some are just racist.
At one time, these people were pretty good, but they realized they had skills and left for other countries for better pay and better working conditions. The bids got more and more competitive, cutting costs until they were literally filled with low-skilled labor who can’t be promoted or leave for economic or competence reasons.
Now that I read this, I’m kinda glad that our company doesn’t do anything like that. But it’s just a small indie team porting games to consoles, so I guess what you’re mentioning is the bigger corp problem.
Company A: We got hacked and the lead dev argued for days it wasn’t a hack. Malware was actively being served to customers during this time period because she refused to deal with it and there was no security team.
Company B: programming team was the IT guys nephew and some random UI designer who hadn’t finished college and was never able to be employed after finishing college…
Company C: We interviewed a candidate who was way over qualified and would make our life so easy because he was eager and hungry. Instead we hired a bootcamper who had never heard of docker (half our infra is docker), react, or anything other than vanilla JavaScript. She failed our practical but still got hired because the hiring manager wanted and assistant. She has become a glorified project manager, but still has the title software engineer.
Think waterfall. But like. No design and no testing.
Not contracting, just another small shop that offers “complete” solutions from a to z kinda situation.
The only competent person in that org would be, oddly enough, the ceo. Everybody else just feel like they show up to be marked present on an attendance sheet in terms of being useful.
The programming team that is working hard on your project is just one dude and he smells funny. The programming team you’ve met in your introductory meeting are just the two unpaid interns that will be fired or will quit within the next two months and don’t know what’s happening. We don’t do agile despite advertising it. Also your project being a priority means it’ll be slapped together from start to finish 24 hours prior to the deadline. Oh and there will be extra charges to fix anything that doesn’t work as it should.
I think we work in the same company, the dude does not smell funny to me but maybe that’s just me.
Are you that dude?
No he is many things including functioning alcoholic and a choleric but I could not detect strong odor.
I do not know what my thing is because that’s obviously my blind spot.
That’s what he said, yep.
We all work for that company. Except at mine, I work remote, so I have only myself to blame the stinkiness on.
When you have a great programmer working on your project he will be cycled to a new project in 2-3 months. Your new senior developer who silently takes over the project is part time because he’s working on finishing his education.
No one knows how anything works, except that one guy, who left the company half a year ago. That’s how all software development is.
Throw in a mysterious comment that says “Don’t change anything below this line or everything breaks” and it’s complete.
“We don’t know why this works, but it does, don’t touch it.” would also be acceptable.
“The server mangles the authentication token after receiving it for reasons we don’t really understand, so this function just checks to see that it’s set in the request, but nothing actually cares if it’s valid. DO NOT RETURN USER ACCOUNT DATA HERE AND YES THAT MEANS YOU MARCUS”
Thai is basically my current team, haha.
In my company we have a very modern agile workflow where QA is top priority.
At least that what we advertise. In reality it’s all an unorganized clusterfuck where I’m pretty sure I am the only one who bothers to write automated tests. Who’s got time to write tests bro just push that shit out ASAP we’ll deal with it when the client calls us in the middle of the night to complain about previously-working shit being broken now.
I’ve worked for one company that actually did it right (complete with pair programming, even). It was pretty nice.
Too bad we were apparently the “experimental?” team and the only one in the whole company doing it that way.
I worked for a company like that. Wall Street shits bought us up and sold everything that wasn’t bolted down.
Ironically, that was the one time I was working for a large, publicly-traded company (a big-box retailer, no less – not even one of the halfway-respectable Fortune 500s!).
A lot of outsourcers do this. Here’s my experience with a few companies.
At one time, these people were pretty good, but they realized they had skills and left for other countries for better pay and better working conditions. The bids got more and more competitive, cutting costs until they were literally filled with low-skilled labor who can’t be promoted or leave for economic or competence reasons.
Now that I read this, I’m kinda glad that our company doesn’t do anything like that. But it’s just a small indie team porting games to consoles, so I guess what you’re mentioning is the bigger corp problem.
Programming teams I’ve worked with are a joke.
Company A: We got hacked and the lead dev argued for days it wasn’t a hack. Malware was actively being served to customers during this time period because she refused to deal with it and there was no security team.
Company B: programming team was the IT guys nephew and some random UI designer who hadn’t finished college and was never able to be employed after finishing college…
Company C: We interviewed a candidate who was way over qualified and would make our life so easy because he was eager and hungry. Instead we hired a bootcamper who had never heard of docker (half our infra is docker), react, or anything other than vanilla JavaScript. She failed our practical but still got hired because the hiring manager wanted and assistant. She has become a glorified project manager, but still has the title software engineer.
Can confirm. I am the smelly guy. Leave me alone and you get code. Bother me and you don’t.
Hah, is this contracting? And what is done vs agile?
Think waterfall. But like. No design and no testing.
Not contracting, just another small shop that offers “complete” solutions from a to z kinda situation.
The only competent person in that org would be, oddly enough, the ceo. Everybody else just feel like they show up to be marked present on an attendance sheet in terms of being useful.
That’s just “cowboy coding.”