Due to this, I’m afraid of working on my own projects. This fear especially intensifies when I’m reaching some kind of milestone or personal goal (e.g. implementing a feature in software, or going to the next phase of a drawing), and end up procrastinating instead. Even worse is that I believe if I could get them finished, I could probably fix my current financial state.
Please note that in my country (Hungary), public mental health care is nearly nonexistent, and they’re only existing so the state can point to it. I don’t have any money for the private stuff, and I have higher priority health concerns that would benefit from higher-quality care (e.g. switching anti-seizure medications as my current doctor ignores its side effects).
By forcing myself to do something if it’s something I can do. Basically this only works with video games since no matter how hard I try I can’t apply it to a job, relationship, being a functional human being.