It’s come to our attention that some of our comrades are living a bachelor life. This may appeal to the carefree whims of the freewheeling youngsters, but it’s counterproductive to the orderly running of the state. Firstly, wedded citizens require 43% less resources, as things like housing, utensils, and clothing can be shared. Secondly, unattached citizens are a serious social ill; studies find that unmarried posters are 87% more likely to engage in violent struggle sessions, and 59% more likely to post removed comments [see source]. Finally and most importantly, married citizens can contribute to the reproduction of workers that our community needs to survive.

It has therefore been decided that all unattached members of hexbear register for your mandated spouse selection. Failure to do so will result in marital judgment in absentia, and a partner sent to your living space within 14 working days of your conviction.