• Bertrand@lemmynsfw.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    1 year ago

    Did you ever have one of those times where someone is an asshole to you and it totally backfires on them?

    We were freshly minted 2nd Lt.'s in a specialty school. After a tough week, my roommate Ken and another guy Doug decided to hit the clubs to blow off some steam. Doug was the designated this time out.

    The night proceeded well, and with a comfy buzz on, we socialized and danced with the girls as you’d expect. Ken and I went to the bar to reload and realized we hadn’t seen Doug in a while. A short investigation ensued–he was gone, his car was gone. We figured he had closed the deal on a friend to spend the night and took off before she could change her mind.

    Talking over our predicament (we were 50 miles from home) a tall, skinny redhead and her curvy brunette friend overheard our plight and asked us where we lived. Noting that it was on the way to their place, they offered us a lift back to our place. Ken rode shotgun to give the redhead directions, while the brunette and I occupied the back seat. While the other two were busy bickering about the route home, I busied myself warming up my new friend’s goosebumpy arms and legs.

    We got back to our place, hung out a bit, and then got in a little hot water with the girls about the cleanliness of our kitchen. I protested, hey, it was Ken’s week to clean, I have better standards. Oh yeah? redhead said. Check out my room, I replied. We all troop in there and sure enough, my personal spaces were found to be impeccable. It was time to check out Ken’s room, but that never happened, at least not for me and the brunette. The other two left and closed my door behind them. We had our tongues in each other’s mouths seconds later. And that, as they say, is that.

    Almost.

    Turns out Doug, our disappearing pal, didn’t have a girl of his own. He was tired and left. Needless to say, that asshole was kicking himself when he found out Ken and I got laid, while he went home alone.