• Lexam@lemmy.ca
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    1 year ago

    I would love to create a community on here for men’s mental health and (actual) issues, but I’m afraid it would get invaded by the toxic masculinity crap.

    • masquenox@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      It’s is a good idea… but it will get hijacked by right-wing grifters. That’s how the whole “incel” thing got started.

    • PeskyAce@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      There’s a sub-reddit called Daddit. It was a great support group for Dads on reddit, either struggling or wanted to share their love for their kids. It’s very doable, you just need to set an example early on for what it needs to be.

    • plumbercraic@lemmy.sdf.org
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      1 year ago

      Isn’t this exactly part of the problem? Men have been gaslit into “being a man” on one side, while also being taught to fear “toxic masculinity” if they try to discuss their problems in group/digital settings. It seems no matter how such a community behaves there will always people that push both of these narratives. But they’re not part of the solution, so I’m not sure I’m gonna take them seriously.

      • Lexam@lemmy.ca
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        1 year ago

        Guys being gas lit into “Being man” is the toxic masculinity I am talking about.

        • NotYourSocialWorker@feddit.nu
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          1 year ago

          “I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad…”, what actually does people think toxic masculinity is? The one you’re replying to seems to have been tricked into believing that feminists think that all masculine traits are bad. They are actually listening to the enemy of their own self best interests.

          I think there might be some overlap causing confusion. Being protective and problem solving are not inherently bad, but combine it with stuff like dominating, controling and not listening to others, and it can be very harmful. So a person might believe that they are just being protective but since they didn’t listen to the other person their actions turns to controling instead.

  • TheBoarOrTheSpear@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I will say, from my grandfather to my father to me, it feels mental health in men has shifted. my dad told me what his dad did (like “the crust will put hair on your chest”) but it feels society has shifted on the subject and I hope our education system still reflects that!

    Yay to less drowning alone! Lol

  • Ascend910@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    In my opinion “be a man” means not afraid to talk to someone about your problems

  • TheControlled@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    This is a true story: My doctor told me this while I was lying in a hospital bed, in the ICU, after trying to kill myself by ODing on pills and alcohol, straps around my wrists and ankles. This was at an extremely nice hospital in Silicon Valley, California.

    I was loaded on antipsychotics and a little loopy but I remember telling him that it was sexist bullshit and unhelpful, which made the nurse chuckle.

  • Foresight@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    Explain to some idiot that as a socialist you’ve gotten more conservative as you got older that you looking into the finer details of economic planning and reading into Stalin, wokes: “omg YoU hAtE gAyS” I swear a lot of social engineering these days to turn people away from these ideas and towards an emotional irrationalism with a horrible aesthetic to keep people in an echo chamber surrounded by self-reflecting identity politics chained to the predominant ideology serving capital.

  • Foresight@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    It’s almost like both sides are stupid and wrong and just wants to shout at each other without giving any solutions. Both sides just want to be right while society suffers because both sides won’t just shut the actual fuck up. Sick of feminist ideology, sick of aggressive males. Why won’t you all just shut the fuck up with your bullshit. Especially fuck your egos with your identity politics shite whether your a white nationalist tard or a blue haired woke tard.

    • graphite@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Why won’t you all just shut the fuck up with your bullshit.

      It would be nice if we all looked around at what’s happening in the world, recognized what we can change, what we can’t, accepted our differences, accepted that we’re human, tried to work together, shook hands and let the best win, whatever.

      In this climate, there are too many individual biases in place that prevent that from happening in a way that’s ideal, though - none of us are immune from that, either, unfortunately.

      We can work toward it; I’m more interested in practicality, for example, and I try to be aware of my own biases while recognizing the biases of others, without judgement - or at least, with minimal judgement that’s impersonal.

      Some people will always be harder for me to connect with than others. That doesn’t make them bad - it’s just a part of the human condition. And sometimes those connections are still very feasible.

      It’s usually ok to be “wrong”. It’s usually ok to have an opinion that doesn’t jive with the norm.

      It’s complicated. There’s many aspects of feminism that make perfect sense, and it’s more than reasonable for the issues that feminists raise to be discussed. Many (perhaps all - I don’t have a list off hand) are totally legitimate.

      There are approaches to feminism that are counter productive…or even just…cringe.

      The same could be said for almost any other political issue.

      People have been unjustifiably exploited by political issues as well.

      I think the media, in general, is problematic. We all rely on it, but it’s too powerful, and the people who have control over what it produces naturally exploit it.

      Above all, it’s best to work toward preventing external factors like the media from controlling how you think and feel.

      It’s not easy. We all succumb to it in one way or another. Sometimes it even serves a purpose.

      The more we’re aware of it, though, the less control it has.

      The media is also a tool. One that’s useful. It’s not black and white.

      In general, the more we’re aware of how a system itself is designed, and how that affects us, the better.

      I know people from many different walks of life who voted for Trump or lean more in the direction of the right; I hold nothing against them for that.

      Working toward the interests of society - the best outcome for the majority of people - would be the ideal, but in a way that’s diplomatic and didn’t involve shouting at each other over the Internet.

      We might not necessarily be in a position where we can even do that, or at least as well as we could have 10 years ago.

      That’s kind of scary.

      Anyway, maybe in your case the right thing to do is just take a deep breath; put your phone down, and do something else.

      That’s at least what I’m going to do.

      Humans definitely gonna human tho.

      Understanding that and finding a way to navigate it in a way that’s fruitful is key…

      while recognizing that, you too, are human.

    • Riddler@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      100% agree. Modern day society tells Men to actively express their emotions and feelings without actually providing good, logical advice that helps improves Mens lives and get them out of their depressive states.

      Instead of teaching Men to observe and regulate their emotions to become better and find purpose. Now society is encouraging to trap them in an emotional cycle where we need to be dependent on people.

      And still society wonders why so many Men are radicalised by gurus like Tate, which is also no good as it comes with mysoginistic opinions and same old conservative beliefs, how Women should be treated.

      However, whether people like Tate or not. He definetly has impacted Men and lit a fire underneath. Maybe improved individual lives. After all, Tate saw a weakness in society (Men depression and suicide) and took advantage of it for his own personal gains.

      What society needs now is actual Male Role Models. This is where ancient greek philosophy Stoism can be one of the useful solutions to this issue, which should be taught in education systems.

      • Foresight@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        I don’t like the social engineering trying to tell men what to do, how to think and how to behave.

        • Ghostc1212@sopuli.xyz
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          1 year ago

          If men have no positive role models and no framework through which to interact with their emotions and their place in the world, they will find horrible role models like Andrew Tate and come up with crude and self-serving frameworks through which to view the world. Since people find religion cringe for some reason nowadays, personal philosophy and virtue ethics are now our only good option.

          • Foresight@lemmy.ml
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            1 year ago

            How about stop trying to dictate who’s role model people follow! How about let people live their lives? If people find help and value to become better then so be it. Who are you to say he is a bad role model? Because he says things you don’t like or behaves in a way you don’t find appealing.

            • Ghostc1212@sopuli.xyz
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              1 year ago

              Who are you to say he is a bad role model?

              Andrew Tate’s entire schtick is being a misogynistic chimpanzee wearing the skin of a man and bragging about how wealthy and sexually successful he is. Anybody who believes this manchild to be a good role model ought to be treated as a laughingstock, much like the man himself. Andrew Tate and people like him capturing the minds of the youth, or young people living a meaningless and depressive existence with no role models or aspirations at all, has direct negative effects on society, and therefore me as well. Therefore, I will continue to tell people to stop following shitty role models like him and to get good ones, because I wanna live in a society where people actually have standards for how they conduct themselves, instead of a society dominated by people like Andrew Tate.

              • Riddler@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                I agree with what you said. However it also worth pointing out that I have seen individual Men going to the gym, improving their mental, physical, emotional and even career after watching a few Tate videos.

                The thing is you can use Andrew Tate as a source of motivation whilst not agreeing with his beliefs and opinions. Although, this seems more of a difficult task for some, I managed to do this. Take a bit of red and blue pill to have a better understanding of the world around you.

              • Foresight@lemmy.ml
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                1 year ago

                So bad because he wrong thinked? Tate bad because he said a word? Please if he helps young men go to the gym and improve mental health then what’s the problem but it also highlights a gaping hole in society that hasn’t been addressed and neglected by this Western woke ideology, largely the needs of males have been neglected, shunned and ignored.

                • Ghostc1212@sopuli.xyz
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                  1 year ago

                  Because he’s a degenerate scam artist who influences young men to do things which are harmful for society. Society needs standards.

                  Please if he helps young men go to the gym and improve mental health then what’s the problem

                  That’s not what Andrew Tate did. Andrew Tate tells men that they are worthless unless they’re wealthy, strong, and promiscuous like him, and then extracts money from them so they can attend his “hustle university” and learn surface-level Investipedia knowledge from a moderator on the Andrew Tate discord server.

                  People like this should absolutely be ostracized. Being mistreated by society does not give any of us an excuse to be fucking stupid.

              • Foresight@lemmy.ml
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                1 year ago

                I mean who would of thought that feminists blocking and banning any criticism on social media and then blasting social media with kill all men, men ain’t shit etc over and over again such a positive impact on society like the climbing suicide rate! Well done, you’ve alienated at least 50% of the population.

        • Riddler@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          I agree to this to some extent. However as you say, letting Men live how they want by being free is what modern society have always been telling them. Yet no purpose, no goals, dreams, motivation? Every human needs a mentor to guide them through life. If you look into stoism, you will understand what I am saying. These ancient greek gods knew their stuff and they were emperors and masters for good reason.

  • Foresight@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    No lifting weights to gain some muscle isn’t toxicmasculineity you fucking warped tards.