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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/swtogirl on 2024-06-28 15:33:17+00:00.
I am not OOP. OOP is u/5p1n5t3rr1f1c and they posted on r/EntitledPeople
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Potluck Eraser December 7, 2023
So I run a company-wide, year-long Secret Santa. Itās to help with morale in the workplace, about 30 people out of 200 participate. Next week is the reveal party, where the group will find out who had who. The group also wanted the party to be a potluck, so I created a potluck sheet.
One of the nicest and most introverted ladies, letās call her Rose, signed up for bringing all the plates, napkins, cups, plastic wear before Thanksgiving. Which is fantastic, all of us are from different departments so that stuff is needed.
About 3 days ago, another lady, letās call her Karen, put herself down as bringing the non perishables, erased what Rose put down (but not Roseās name), and also added that āI have a lot left over from my daughterās birthdayā.
Iāve never seen anyone erase other peopleās entries on a potluck sheet.
So I call Rose. After much apologizing on my part for Karenās bad behavior, Rose decided to be the bigger person and bring chips and dip. Unfortunately neither of us want to confront Karen. If karen actually receives a satisfactory come-uppance in the future, Iāll let you guys know.
Relevant Comments:
Karens keep karening because nobody says anything. As the organizer, it was your responsibility to say, āRose actually already purchased her contribution. Please choose something else.ā
(Technically, as long as you donāt elaborate, this is not a lie. Iām sure Rose contributed to something prior and therefore had āalready purchasedā. Karen doesnāt need to know youāre referencing different things.)
OOP:
IĀ agree with you. But this situation is difficult because Karen is in a not-quite supervisory position to both Rose and I. Sheās not in the boss-line for either of us but sheās at that level.
At my work we use āsignup geniusā for potluck stuff. Only the āowner/creatorā of the event can adjust names that arenāt their own. Might be a solution for next time.
This happened to me one time for a company potluck, someone crossed out what I was going to bring, and wrote something else in. Which I didnāt see until the day of the potluck. Then they got all butt hurt that I didnāt provide what they wrote I should bring.
This is where I would be petty and passive aggressive. I would get with Rosa and some other people from the group I thoroughly trusted and make a plan. At different times during the party have Rosa is talking to or near Karen. Then each of you walk up to Rosa and thank her for being so kind to bring everything erased and Karen brought instead, making sure Karen hears. They must turn and walk away and pretend they donāt hear Rosa telling them āOh it wasnāt me. I brought chips.ā
Now I ideally Rosa shouldnāt be changing what sheās bringing and Karen should be addressed immediately and told what she did was unacceptable and she needs to sign up for something else .
Update December 14, 2023
The potluck was today and went off well. Somehow 18 people sharing food always turns into a couple of days of leftovers, we are a generous bunch. The Karen did bring things, sort of. She got caught up in work and so 5 minutes after the official start of the potluck at high noon I went to her cube and retrieved the paper goods.
She gave me a 1ā by 1ā by 2ā basket, half full. Not a lot of paper goods. Like, a āwhy botherā amount of paper goods that made me worry if I was going to have to go scrounging for plates. Truly, I would not have called the amount āa plethoraā. But everyone made do and we had a good time.
Rose only attended virtually through Teams (the company is spread over three towns and she chose to not be where the party was), as she has social anxiety and later told me that she didnāt feel like she could face Karen. I tried to be supportive leading up to the potluck, told Rose Iād be by her side, and that she could bring what she wanted or nothing at all, and that I had the room a half hour before the potluck started so that she could get her stuff in first. But I couldnāt give her enough courage, and Iām sorry about that.
When it was clear that Rose wasnāt coming in person, I made sure to publicly thank her profusely during the Secret Santa reveal and point out her support of other people and her caring nature. I used all the flowery language I could think of for about a minute and a half, which is a little out of character for me. Rose got a nice round of applause from the group.
I really, really hope the attention on Rose made Karen feel like crap. Iād like to tell you that Karenās expression souredā¦but in all honesty thatās what she looks like all the time.
The person who is taking over the Secret Santa for me, letās call him Karl, also attended, and after the potluck I let him know exactly what happened, showed him the history of the Excel sheet as you guys suggested. He was shocked. I advised him to not have Rose and Karen be partnered in 2024ās Secret Santa, and also to take precautions as to future sign-up sheets if Karen was involved. He agreed.
Karl also happens to be one of the biggest gossips in the company. Iām sorry but itās true, the three quickest forms of communication in my company are Teams calls, emails, and just tell Karl. Iām pretty confident that word of Karenās bad behavior will make its way up the ranks. I know that this probably isnāt the exciting ending you guys wanted to read for thisā¦but given the personalities involved, letting karma do its thing seemed like the best choice.
Thanks for reading.
Relevant Comments:
āQuickest forms of communication in my company are Teams Calls, Emails, and Just Tell Karl.ā LMAO
āYou know, telephone, telegraph, tell-a-Carrie ā¦ If you really wanted to get something out fast, youād ask Carrie to keep it in her confidence. Then out it would go.ā
ā Mark Hamill
wlfwrtr (heavily downvoted):
Of course you couldnāt give her enough courage to come because when she needed you to step up for her you didnāt even try. I understand you were afraid to but that doesnāt lessen the knowledge that Rose canāt count on you.
OOP:
I didnāt say anything to Karen because it would not have changed anything. I could have gone up to her and said āI saw you changed Roseās entries on the sign-up sheet and Rose said you didnāt discuss it with her and that made her feel unappreciated. Please donāt do that again.ā And her response would probably be ābut I had extra stuff I wanted to get rid of.ā
Because thatās how she is, Rose and I are not important enough for Karen to listen to or consider. Weāre not full people to her. Weāre support staff.
Iām choosing my battles. But I see your point. When Iām sure Rose and I wonāt suffer undue repercussions, Iāll admonish Karen. But I have a feeling that the workplace rumor mill will punish her more than I ever could.