I was horrified when I found out they all committed suicide, and even more horrified when I found out they only looked 6 years into the future.

  • Saledovil@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    6·
    11 months ago

    This basically puts the payoff before the setup, which deflates it. It could work as a horror story, but you should put the suicides first, and the clairvoyance device at the end.

    Maybe:

    My department was tasked with investigating a string of suicides. We found they all worked on a device to let them see the future.

    Of course, this also doesn’t provide enough setup. So instead have the detective called to the individual suicides to investigate, and they slowly become aware of how these people are connected, and then at the end, they find out about the clairvoyance device.