When I can’t find another and run out of savings in a few months, that’s when Ill kill myself.
Honestly did a bit of a trial run last night, fastened a bag over my head and snuggled my stuffed animals on the couch to see what it would be like. It’s definitely something I can go through with if/when it comes to it. Taking other steps to make life less unbearable first, hence the title. I don’t really see my life ending any other way though tbh, just more of a question of when. If I’m lucky, it’ll be when the climate change induced famine prices me out of being able to eat and I chose not to starve. Anyways, sorry for making you read this. Fuck.
Lots of us are struggling in the same boat. Hold strong with us.
Just remember one day at a time. It will get better. Love to you random internet friend.
I’m glad you are quitting your job. It’s not worth your well being regardless of what it is.
Do you have insurance, or meds, or a psychiatric provider?
On antidepressants and adhd meds, I’ll have to stop the adhd meds which sucks but I can probably cover depression meds out of pocket.
Though it might just be better to go off of them and get it over with. Just killing time anyways, really
I love you and i wish you all the best from all my heart. Sorry things are so hard, really hope youll find your way
That’s a horrible way to die. Do some research on the way the Japanese kids do it now and days, it’s pain and suffering free.
It really wasn’t bad. I got to the point where my vision started getting fuzzy before deciding to open the bag. I was able to keep calm and take slow breaths and relax. Went into it without actual intent to follow through, but wrote a quick note anyways, just in case I decided to go through with it or an accident happened. Though, I’ve been into autoerotic asphyxiation since I was an experimental teenager, so I have practice/it’s not mentally horrifying to me like it is to normal people. Don’t do breathplay often, because I don’t have anyone to do it with to keep me safe, but I’m almost past caring
You have made me curious - I tried to find what you were talking about, but all I could find on novel Japanese suicide methods was a trend of “detergent suicide” around 2008, i.e. hydrogen sulfide gas poisoning. Is that what you meant? If so, it can endanger first responders and inconvenience neighbors with evacuation. Inert gas is equally painless and much more socially responsible.
Oh no that is definitely not the way. I can’t find a reference to the documentary I watched and I won’t go into details here but here is link to place in particular I was talking about: https://allthatsinteresting.com/suicide-forest-aokigahara
Hanging is a lot worse to me than unrestricted asphyxiation. I don’t care for the pain of my throat getting crushed, with rebreathing until I die I just have to deal with the panic. Like ofc it’s not comfortable but if you keep calm and take slow breaths it hits a peak of discomfort pretty quick and doesn’t get much worse
Check out gradual fill CO2. It’ll get you where you’re going, should it come to it.
Hypothermia on a snowy night will be my way to go. Alcohol dilates the blood vessels, so you don’t feel the cold. Make sure to pick a spot that’s not too crowded, so your corpse can rot a bit in the spring, before being found.
Certainly beats getting hit by a train, which I witnessed a few years ago.
My ADHD meds eventually made me suicidal. Try taking a break from those and smoking a loooooot of weed. See how you feel.
Things are much worse without them. They increase my baseline anxiety a little, but let me feel like a person and function and it’s so nice.
Damn. It’s like the exact opposite for me, they turned me into an unfeeling robot. There was definitely an emotional withdrawal period but that’s what the massive amount of weed is for.
I know this is an old post, but I really hope you are doing better now. This bad economy is hitting me pretty hard and I can’t help but feel the same way sometimes.
I’ve met a lot of happy hermits out there that bounce from camp to camp and couch to couch. Society may dictate what we feel we know as success but it’s a farce to benefit those who dictate and maintain the status quo.
Make us read more sometime.
