• xor@infosec.pub
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    63
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    3 months ago

    if you’re over 6 feet or so, all sorts of people will ask what your height is… but i have seen weird height minimums on dating apps… usually with “i want to be able to wear heels”

    • abcd@feddit.org
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      61
      ·
      3 months ago

      I don’t get it. Is there a rotating 1kW laser mounted on my head that may decapitate a woman slightly taller then me I didn’t recognize all my life?!

      • johannesvanderwhales@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        23
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        3 months ago

        People treat dating apps as a filter, and think that they’ll only get people that match what they entered. So it becomes a wishlist for them. If they met a really great guy who happened to be short, sure they’d date him. But all other things being equal, would they prefer a tall guy to a short guy? Yes. All things aren’t equal of course, but other stuff is harder to quantify. There’s no “not an asshole” filter, for example.

        • moody@lemmings.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          17
          arrow-down
          2
          ·
          3 months ago

          So what “If you’re not 6 feet tall, don’t bother” really means is “Hit me up anyway, we might click.”

            • SwingingTheLamp
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              3
              ·
              3 months ago

              The “dodged a bullet” idiom is well-meaning, but after a while, you feel like a soldier who survived storming the beach at Normandy, what with all of the bullets you dodged.

      • xor@infosec.pub
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        8
        arrow-down
        6
        ·
        3 months ago

        it’s sort of a toxic masculinity thing… they want to be shorter than the person they’re with…. male roles of protection, reaching high things and carrying heavy things they can’t carry….
        my 5’10” ex dated a shorter man once, she said his obsession with her height was one thing that ruined it….
        he hated tall guys, wanted to sleep on top of her like a human bed… just weird dumb stuff….
        she also mentioned she liked that she could wear heels with me and not be taller than me… and we never got dressed up like that… she just needed the option or something.
        but hey, i’ve never even met a woman as tall as me… it’s not such a big deal.

        • TheFriar@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          6
          ·
          3 months ago

          wanted to sleep on top of her like a human bed

          What.

          Did he love the fact that she was taller than him or hate it?

          • xor@infosec.pub
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            3
            ·
            3 months ago

            he loved it… i guess she let him take a nap on her once as a joke, but then he wanted to do it all the time….

          • d00phy@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            3
            ·
            3 months ago

            Yeah, that’s pretty weird. Like even if I weirdly wanted to sleep, like actually sleep, on top of another person, I’m fairly spectating I couldn’t. It would just be uncomfortable.

        • RBWells@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          3 months ago

          I love my height, would love to be even a couple inches taller, but the legit short guys I’ve been with did make me feel insecure because they were sort of fetishists, only one in a way I felt ok about; they NEEDED a woman taller than them the same way women do to guys.

          What someone pointed out to me once though, was that maybe I was implementing my own bias and didn’t want to be with a guy so much taller than me because I’m not used to feeling short and it isn’t a good feeling to me. So even though my conscious mind thinks I’m irritated by tall men’s obsession with short women, and my daughters think I kind of robbed them of their potential height, it probably is an affirmative preference not just a default result.

          • xor@infosec.pub
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            3 months ago

            such a weird world… i say, like what you like… don’t obsess or fetishize it…
            i’ve dated some extra short women, they did marvel at my height but it was more of a novelty… standing on things to kiss kinda thing…. it is weird being someone’s “type” because of a couple key physical attributes.

            but almost all women seem really short to me… i usually don’t really notice at first.

    • OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      20
      ·
      3 months ago

      usually with “i want to be able to wear heels”

      That’s fine. I might wear them too.

    • MissJinx@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      3 months ago

      I get it but maybethey should try to meet the person first It could be very little to no difference or the person could be so awesome that it doesn’t mater.

      • xor@infosec.pub
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        3 months ago

        i just think it’s not that important if a girl is taller than a guy (or anyone) they’re dating….
        it’s a weird world i don’t know why people make such a big deal about these things….

        i guess i have been told by women that they feel surprisingly safe walking next to me on the street, and that it’s a big relief….
        maybe it all comes down to instinctual security?

    • Dasus@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      3 months ago

      Haha yeah perhaps if you live in a country where that’s rare.

      You have to be ~2 meters here to get comments, and even that isn’t really rare. 210 would probably start turning heads a bit.