Just finished up signing all the papers for my grandpa’s will this weekend and this popped into my head. Grandpa is leaving me everything because he knows I’m a decent enough human to take care of my untrustworthy mom, and I can’t stop listening to this now. Sorry for the feels dump, just crazy how different this song sounded to me 20 years ago, and the responsibilities I’m getting now that I didn’t think I would have to worry about for awhile. TMBG are truly incredible artist that grow with you
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Son I am able she said, though you scare me.
Watch said I, beloved I said - watch you scare me!
Said she, able am I son!I love this song very much, and it’s one of the TMBG jams I still sing. My gal hadn’t heard them before, but my mom and I were road warriors and we for sure were rocking our bones to TMBGs. So when I sang this song one time while doing dishes or something, she asked me what in the hey I was singing. And then I played it for her and she fell in love with them then and there. And while I don’t listen to them all that much (not gunna lie, maybe OVERDID it with them in my lifetime) the songs I still bring to the table that she hears she loves. I mean instantly falls in love with.
(Which if anyone is interested are pretty slim pickings now. Older, Bangs, Sleepwalkers, Dr. Worm (sung quite often not gunna lie), Spiraling Shape (my fav), She’s an Angel)
Also because I just got jazzed to see TMBG - I am freakin’ sorry for your loss. I wish losing grandparents was some kinda easy act. You think, eh - it’s like a tiered thing. And I guess it probably will be (Still got my ma, have a single grandparent left) but I still feel the loss of the other two something fierce and miss then dearly all the time. I met a woman once wandering a craft store who told me something beautiful yet sad. That losing someone you love puts a hole in your heart and nothing ever really closes it. You just learn to live with it. She said it’d been thirty years since she lost her grandmother and she still misses her very dearly. But it was also beautiful, because love prevails.
I also have this odd feeling that people are going to start leaving their inheritances (if they have any) to the younger generations because they’ve got some big battles to fight. Either way, big hugs at at least you got to heal some of that back-stabbing scheezy ugly love that can happen when greed gets involved with death.
Sorry if my post was confusing, my grandpa is still kicking (just tore down a pool, half a deck and working on a gazebo using the wood from the deck now) but he was just updating his will. My grandma died during 2020 and he has slowly been giving me more and more access/responsibly to his pension, property and bank accounts. This weekend was when he finally signed it all to me.
Losing my grandma during lockdown was tough. I lived with her and my grandpa more than anyone else in my life and I feel like they made me the person I am today more than anyone else. It just sucks knowing these plans after losing one of them. My mom current lives with my grandpa, but they are at each other’s throats constantly. I know my grandparents could of done more for her, but I am in the same boat with both my parents but decided to move on and try to heal. Family events on that side are now just passive aggressive matches with me and my wife trying to divert to a different topic.
Again sorry for the feels dump.
That lady in the store story really sums stuff up. My grandpa never never open about his and my grandmas relationship but I am starting to hear more positive, happy stories after she’s gone. I heard all about their fun times in the 60s and 70s but hearing the small moment makes me understand their relationship more and why they stayed together for 53 years.
Heyyyy!! I dig it, go grandpa! Glad that he’s still kicking. Apologies. My family is the size of a peanut and never really had much in the way of _ anything =P! Really. And it’s pretty non-traditional so I don’t know much about you know stuff like this. But I have read a lot about wills and people being money hungry. And I hilariously think about god what was that one movie…I forgot it’s name but that one Wes…oh - Grand Budapest Hotel. Isn’t there a scene in it where a bunch of folks come out the woodwork looking for snips of cash? I’m not sure how all estates are settled, but I will say that if your mother is being inappropriate about her father’s finances I’m glad that she’s been superseded.
I’m sorry about your grandma though, it is rough and grandmas make the world go round so big hugs there. I said my peace on all of that, and it really just…ugh. You love em, even when they’re long gone. Sounds like something’s gone down but all things aside I think the high road is the one worth taking 9/10 times. Then sometimes you just gotta head into Russia and bomb up the joint. But all things aside, I hate passive aggressiveness (perhaps because I am aggressively aggressive) but that shit always rubs me the wrong way. It’s like playing shitty chess, and and people are trying to subversively manipulate you instead of saying what they need. And you’ve got a wife - so you’ve got to know clear communication is necessary to keep a healthy relationship going. So at the end of the day I actually (personally) consider that shit abusive. Which…on my end kinda sucks =P! Cause I currently live in for sure one of the most passive aggressive states in America =P!
No worries about feels dumps, you gotta express yourself and you’re SUPER allowed to. Hell I dump all over the joint, no worries! I think you’re a bigger person for dumping because most people keep that shit in. I mean for each of us, how many people are just sneaking around peeking at shit and being little voyeurs. At least you’re out here participating =P! You do you, you’re doing good!
I have had the grace of being able to form a little micro-relationship with my last grandma and get some stories (as well as share some) which would otherwise be lost to time. Including some really eye opening things, which have been so…pleasing as a human to hear. I honestly - well the one thing I told my gal when I met her is that I want a relationship much akin to my grandparents. Because most folks come and go and bob and weave. The gay community isn’t know for it’s sticking power when it comes to relationships. And I was getting older and I just wanted a person to “span time with” (thank you Buffalo 66). And we’ve been together since for 10 years and shit has been all over the place but I am really thankful she bought in. Cause you gotta get someone to buy in, you can’t force that kinda thing =P! And it has been such a lovely thing to have that kind of commitment and I really wish it for most folks (not all, but most) in a relationship because I don’t think I’d trade this for anything. And while our branches of the tree might not be continuing onward after us it’s been a blast just being able to be with someone you can laugh and reminisce with even after 10 freakin’ years. I might not get that whole 50, but I hope I can get some solid time with the missus before one of us leaves this mortal coil.
That got me all in a feels kinda way. You put a dumb smile on my face, and I thank you (and your seemingly lovely grandfather) for that =)! Best of luck, and people who put money over family don’t understand the meaning of life. Cheers!
