I will elaborate more in the replies, just be nice.
Tldr… I hate how one of the most common advice you receive as a loner without social life or a partner is to get a dog. I’m taking care of a dog for a while now as a favour, since I’m unemployed and have “nothing to do” (my brother went to his gf beach holiday house for the summer with her, his daughter, my younger siblings and my mom, couldn’t take the dog, it’s old) and I’m miserable, I HATE this. I don’t wanna have to deal with any animal after this.
You must log in or register to comment.
I’d rather a person say “Dogs are not for me”, and not get one, than a person try to be “normal”, and the dog suffers because you don’t love them.
This applies to babies as well. I support abortion because if a person isn’t ready to be a parent, they shouldn’t be.
Bold take. But it’s good to know your preferences. Pets aren’t for everyone. Kind of weird that people tell you to get a dog like it’s a utilitarian solution to something and not like, a living creature.
The typical response I got online was “oh, dogs are a social magnet, you met people outside and girls”… Sure, like I wanna talk to unknown people when I’m watching the thing taking a shit… Also for the most part only attracts old people or angry people that don’t want you close
Have you tried walking the dog more than the bare minimum for it to pee and poop? Or even better, go to a dog part where there’s people with all sorts of (hopefully friendly) dogs.
The dog can barely jog (the reason they didn’t took it with them for the holidays) as it is and there’s no place like that here.
Geriatric dogs aren’t very fun. You take care of them because it’s the right thing to do, not for your own enjoyment.Keeping them happy is what brings you joy.
In the same way you don’t go to the club with your grandparents.
Poor pup. Getting old sucks and having older animals is really hard.
What about poor me? He won’t get yelled for staining public areas, that get all on me and it’s not even my dog.
I understand where you are coming from, but when has “poor me” ever resulted in a benefit. You aren’t a victim here, you just dont like dogs and let your family tell you what to do.
Like I have any choice. Already my relationship is bad with them.
Yeah, aside from dogs, life is not gonna be nice for you walking around with this attitude.
What attitude? You speak like in torturing the thing, I’m not?
I said aside from dogs.
Edit I’m referring to your displayed approach to dealing with stress, and situations you.domt want to be in.
Is natural to be angry about this, I’m not unreasonable dude and I had to clean shit indoors 4 times by now, especially when I was walking down ABOUT to taking it to the park
this is not normal dog behaviour
i’m not saying you’d like another dog any more - it sounds like you’ve made up your mind and i’m not trying to change it… but… unless you go like 18hr without taking a healthy, reasonably trained dog out, its going to avoid shitting inside… they take “don’t shit where you eat” quite instinctually
I’m just tired. I had to clean shit again in the living room. He did during the night
You sound depressed. You should get an emotional support animal. /s
Let me tell you about babies…
I love dogs. Absurdly so.
And, that’s exactly why you never, ever use any kind of pressure to get someone to take care of your dog/s.
You, being essentially forced to take care of a dog that you don’t have a bond with, that needs unusual attention, and weren’t eager to care for is a sign of the owner of the dog being an absolute idiot.
There’s nothing wrong with not liking animals in your space. Period, no buts. You shouldn’t be put in this position. It’s unfair to you and the dog.
That being said, do your best to make sure the dog gets at least minimum necessary care. You were coerced into it, but the animal didn’t have a choice either. From your comments, it seems like you’re doing more than bare minimum, and that’s awesome. That’s pretty damn solid tbh, I’ve known people that were in your position that just buggered off and left animals without care.
That’s why the dog’s owner is an idiot, btw. You leave an animal that’s your responsibility in the care of someone, you’re rolling the dice on them to begin with. If it’s someone that doesn’t like dogs, and doesn’t want to do it, you better hope like hell they’re decent people (like you).
So, as a dog lover, thank you for coming here to vent and making sure the dog is taken care of anyway. That’s the best thing you could do in this situation. If you need to vent more, and don’t want to deal with public comments, feel free to vent via PM to me. You’re in a lousy situation doing the best you can, and I respect the hell out of that
I didn’t got pressured but I don’t have a job or social life, refusing for no reason would put a dent in my relationship with my family (since I’m still living with my mother, especially since she was also going with my brother) I’ve been always the nerdy black sheep and my brother was the jock successful dude type. I would’ve seen like I’m bad person for refusing.
That’s a form of pressure.
When someone uses a family bond as leverage, it’s pressure or coercion.
It isn’t necessarily done intentionally, I don’t know your family, So I can’t say anything about that, just that if you can’t feel fully free to refuse, it cant be said that you agreed fully.
If you want advice on how to set boundaries about that kind of thing with family, there are ways to go about it without anyone being able to complain unless they’re willing to be a jerk. But that’s a separate thing, and not at all on topic with your post, so feel fully free to ignore me :)
But, yeah, I get it. It’s always a rough position to be in. Sorry you got stuck with it.
When someone uses a family bond as leverage, it’s pressure or coercion
Even if that “uses” is implicit and never explicitly stated.
this is why for truly important consent it’s useful to say “enthusiastic consent” - it’s not just “yes (perhaps because i feel pressure or obligation)”, it’s “yes i’d love to!”
I’m basically not bringing money to the home right now and I’m unemployed, I don’t have leverage to refuse. Plus when you’re not the social type, you automatically are set into a more “housekeeper” position by my family. “You don’t wanna go with us to the BBQ? Fine, since you’re here, clean the house and bathroom” sorta stuff
Its not that you dont have the leverage to refuse the request, its that both parties have no leverage unless its accepted.
You are not required to solve your families problems either.
Tell that to my mother
Well, if you’re okay with that, that’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with accepting that, or even enjoying it. We all have the right to run our own lives.
If you aren’t okay with that, be aware that it is also okay to renegotiate what is and isn’t part of your duties in the household. It isn’t about leverage, it’s about communication and establishing healthy boundaries. Whether or not you have an outside job, whether or not you’re social, you don’t have to be the housekeeper by default.
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have household duties, everyone has a degree of obligation to take part in keeping a household functional. I’m just saying that you have a say in what duties those are, and that it is possible to attempt to negotiate them in a way that’s respectful and polite.
Not every family works well enough to have good communication about such things. And some families really do think that not having outside work means you are essentially a slave to the household. If that’s the case, there’s only so many options. But you do still have some options, if you want to take them. Again, that’s totally your choice, I would not try and convince you that you have to do anything, it’s your life, your family, you get to decide how you interact with them, not anyone else.
I’m not okay with it. But there’s nothing I can do without making my family my enemy
That’s the definition of being pressured.
refusing for no reason would put a dent in my relationship with my family (since I’m still living with my mother, especially since she was also going with my brother)
… you don’t see that as being pressured? Bruh.
Dude is a Latino household where everyone does something, I don’t cook and I don’t have a job right now. I’m a easy target.
I also don’t like dogs, and whenever I say it out loud it’s like I just killed someone’s mom. It’s not a popular opinion to express, but I express it whenever I get the chance so the dog-obsessed know they’re welcome to pretend that they’re entitled to dominion over every fucking public space, but it’s an inconsiderate delusion.
I’ve been allergic to pet dander my whole life, and I will usually break out in hives just from being in the same room as someone who owns a dog. Yet, I’m still expected to pretend that I love their precious furry angel. Lately, I just let people know that couldn’t be further from the truth. That said, I absolutely adore cats. But I’m just as allergic and would never own one.
It raises flags because most people who dont like dogs are either afraid or dont get a long with them. If you were afraid you’d say that, but you said you dont like dogs so the reasonable assumption is that you dont like dogs because dogs dont like you.
Its hard to find a comparison but it would be similar to saying “I dont like my mom”. Unless you have a follow up story involving abuse that was not your fault, you are the problem.
That said, there are plenty of people who feel immense fear around dogs or other negative emotions, and while that perspective can be changed over time, its by no means required.
I think this whole post would benefit from the OP adding more background about why they feel so negatively towards dogs, but they seem to want to blame it on dogs or their family rather than think about that.
So there’s no room at all for personal preference? I’m afraid of big scary mean dogs, yes, but not all dogs. And the dogs that I’ve interacted with over the last three decades have actually liked me quite a bit, but I haven’t liked them. So your assumption, in my case, is flat wrong.
Some people like things that others don’t, others don’t like things that some people do. That’s a part of being a person in a society with other people.
Honestly, it’s attitudes like this that are a big part of why I don’t like dogs. Many dog owners think they have the right to impose themselves and their dogs on everyone without a second thought because they assume there’s no way anyone in the world wouldn’t love their precious little dog. They think people who don’t like a specific furry little animal somehow throw up red flags and shouldn’t be trusted. Well that’s just wrong, insulting, and frankly demonstrates a lack of empathy that is alarming.
Where do you think personal preference comes from? You are born either liking or hating dogs? You need to do some better reading as it appears you replied after reading a quarter of my post.
And yes, someone who reacts like the OP to the situation they are in is a red flag for me. They are childish and selfish, and can’t even consider that the dog is a whole other living being that is involved in this situation.
It shows an incredible lack of compassion or understanding and thats not even considering the attitude they have towards their actual human family members.
I understand wanting to vent but this is not that, this is asking for validation. I would never post something so awful about myself but hey, different perspectives right.
Dude you’re wrong
-
You might prefer cats.
-
Maybe this dog is a dick.
-
You do you; just don’t be cruel. My dogs are a lot of work, but they’re a source of meaning and joy for me as well.
I don’t wanna clean anyone’s shit anymore.
Honestly I think the experience of having a cat is much different than having a dog, and much better for certain personality types (like mine). Way less needy, feels more like a chill roommate than an annoying kid. Scooping cat litter is also much less of an issue than it sounds.
That being said, your feelings are 100% valid. Not everyone should have a pet, and nothing wrong with not wanting one.
Thank you, I already getting attacked here
Thats what automatic litter boxes are for
That just changes the spot you the clean the shit from.
Pretty much yeah
That’s not a thing here? Also I don’t think that works if the animal doesn’t want to shit there
You train them thats where they go, mine was plug and play (the box AND the cats)
Cats can very much be trained, it just requires repetition and consistency. They’ll come around if you show them and reward them and hold them to a reasonable standard consistently__
-
Fellow dog-disliker here. I am constantly being told “no, you just don’t like bad dog owners!”* Like… no. I don’t like dogs. I don’t think that dogs are bad creatures, but I don’t like them.
Petting a dog makes my hands feel disgusting, cleaning up after them is disgusting, the sounds they make (oh god, the mouth sounds), the licking, loud panting, the constant need for attention, their constant need to eat, holy shit, the barking, whining… I don’t like dogs.
Dogs are fine. I just don’t want to own one or have to live with them.
I’m fully with you. It’s not a dog’s fault that they are the way they are, and I’ll always do my best to take care of them and have nice interactions - but so many things about them are annoying, especially the barking. I hate loud noises, and they are so loud compared to their size.
I mean, a cat can annoy at worst 3 apartments at once (you, above you, below you) if they run around and scream like crazy. A dog barking in the night can literally annoy hundreds of apartments at once, even though they’re close to the same size.
You forgot:
they smell
those clicking noises on the floorOmfggggg I’ll never forget…
Yuuuup. We had to babysit literally the Bestest Boi. Seriously the coolest and most well-behaved, well-trained, low maintenance dog who ever dogged. And I loved him. But I was SO GLAD when he went home.
I can’t do the clinginess. I’m just getting up to grab a pen, please don’t wake up, follow me across the house, and then follow me back. Don’t stare at me when I eat. What are you loudly licking over there? How come you smell, you JUST had a bath. You KNOW you’re not supposed to climb on the couch, and climbing on top of me doesn’t negate that. Why are you so clumsy?? All of it.
I would pet him and then count the seconds until I could get up and wash my hands. And this was a dog I genuinely loved and would have adopted in a heartbeat if he was a cat.
I like dogs. I am 100% not a dog person.
This is how I feel about my dog that my girlfriend brought into our house when we moved in together. They’re just disgusting and I hate cleaning the floors daily and how fucking loud he is.
Petting a dog makes my hands
feeldisgustingAhhhh, there we go.
Do people not actually notice how oily their dogs are???
I don’t dislike dogs, but I wish fewer people owned them. Too often, they are left to whine and bark incessantly because the owner didn’t consider they might need training, or that many dogs don’t do well when they are left alone.
And no, getting two dogs isn’t a substitute for training or attention. In all likelihood, they’ll just feed off each other and bark even more.
I’ve been with my husband 23 years and we’ve moved 4x, with each move being influenced at least partially by noise from a neighbor’s dog.
Now we live somewhere where we have no adjacent neighbors and the house is made of brick. I think we’ve finally found our peace and quiet – super important because he works from home.
The house itself needed a lot of work, still does, but it’s so peaceful and the view is spectacular.
honestly a lot of pet owners are just terrible, even if they’re generally good people they just don’t put in the effort needed to responsibly own pets.
I want to dislike you for your opinion, but I loathe human children. My day is at best, only made mildly worse by being in proximity to one. So I’m not a properly functioning human either.
Plus there are morning people, which no one has been able to convince me aren’t lizard folk.
The only reason I disagree is because ive had both perspectives so I know theres a possibility to change if wanted.
I very much disliked my mothers dog for a long time. Didnt want to take care of it or be around it or anything. Thought she was annoying and clingy.
Nowadays I just see the dog different, despite all of her problems getting worse with old age. I feel compassion for her and it makes me happy to see her having fun when I come to see her now.
Its very easy to let an animal just be an inconvenience or a problem, but I think the key is giving the animal a basic level of respect. You wouldnt treat the dog that way if it were a human in that situation.
Tbh the vibe is more like you have a discontentment with your situation rather than you hate dogs
Is not my first time being in shit situations due a dog
Are there any other common factors between these bad experiences? Sounds like family dynamics are doing at least some of the work that is making these situations bad.
It really depends on the dog for me, and sometimes it’s less the dog’s fault and more the owner’s fault. My wife was bit and chased by a dog as a kid, so she immediately has issues with them.
The thing I dislike is the entitlement of owners that bring their dog into every business. It’s fine if your business has signs stating it’s okay, but I’ve seen people walk right into places with their dog and not even question it. For them, it’s somehow flipped in their heads and they think dogs are permitted unless otherwise stated. Then you have the folks that buy fake support vests for their dogs, which is just a dick thing to do. It undermines people that actually have a need for a support pet.
I’ve always been a cat person but I’m not the type that fucking advertises it everywhere.
I love my kids, their friends and other parents kids…eeeehhhhhhhh
I love my dog, other people’s dogs…eeeeehhhhhhhhhh
It just depends dude.
So true. I actually love dogs. Just not all of them. The same goes with cats, but I generally gel better with their personalities. Cats have always gravitated to me.
I get this. My in-laws have a yappy little dog that has no redeeming qualities. Zero. Before I met that critter I thought I might own a dog one day.
spend some time with a well trained doodle. its apples and oranges. i think the little ones have serious psychological issues.
dude you can’t judge all dogs by tiny yappy little bullshit dogs
hang out with some labs or goldens
I hate how one of the most common advice you receive as a loner without social life or a partner is to get a dog.
Lol I feel that. Everyone wants me to get a dog and live the healthy active lifestyle that entails.
Sorry suckers, I love dogs but I hate responsibility!
“You think I’m depressed now? Imagine when the dog dies.”
I love animals, but I could NEVER take the heartache of them passing. It’s kinda selfish, I know. There’s just always that shitty thought at the back of my mind regarding pets.
Yeah, or they get sick or hurt. I wouldn’t be able to cope
I feel this. People often recommend an animal companion for me, and I always worry it would just add to daily stress.
It would.
Nothing wrong with that. Dogs are gross in general, especially as indoor pets. People let their dogs lick their face after it’s been licking its ass like that’s no big deal and expect the rest of us not to be concerned.
THANK YOU! And people think we’re the crazy ones 🙄
I love my dogs like a very close friend.
I do not let my very close friends lick my face
As a dog person, I am very happy that you understand this about yourself. You will not be someone who abandons a dog. It’s not for everyone and there’s nothing wrong with anyone it doesn’t appeal to. Cats are way less work if you’re looking for animal companionship, otherwise you’re going to have to settle for (ugh) human companionship.
you’re going to have to settle for (ugh) human companionship.
What do you mean, “ugh?” As long as I keep all of you people at arm’s length, it’s great!
😜
