• Jarix@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        As autists, whats your opinions on people telling you what their pets were thinking or feeling?

        I may be on the spectrum, and suspect i am but dont even know how to move forward finding out(already have a big motivation problem. As in struggle to get up everyday)

        I ask because it drives me crazy when people go on and on about a thing their pets do/does as if they had a significant conversation with their pets to find this out.

        • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.zip
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          3 months ago

          Well, on the one hand, I do believe that dogs and cats have emotions similar, though likely not as complex as humans, and that if you know a cat or dog well enough, you stand a good chance at understanding some of its fairly basic emotional states.

          Dogs and cats are both usually quite capable of sensing emotional states in humans, though each one will react a bit differently, so in that regard, they are sort of humanlike.

          But… you wouldn’t be able to understand a cat or dog’s very specific opinions about a topic it could not possibly grasp.

          Sure, you can probably tell if it likes or does not like a person or kind of food… but its not going to be capable of having complex opinions about fashion or politics or finances or something.

          When people seriously act like their pet is telling them things that are far too complex, this person is either delusional or basically manipulating/guilt-tripping you by presuming to speak for an animal, and then they’ll say ‘Don’t blame me, pet just doesn’t agree!’

          This is basically the behavior of an immature child or a manipulative sociopath.

          Also, on its face, I don’t see anything wrong with talking to a pet as a form of trying to work through your own feelings…

          … As long as you realize that that is what you are doing. That its not much different than talking to yourself in a mirror or a doll or something, in that regard. In another regard, the pet just views this as you spending quality time with it, and it probably enjoys that.

          Sometimes it helps to just sit down and talk through your own feelings, and having a loving animal certainly can help you feel more calm and loved.

          But again, if someone gets to the point that they actually think they are having a complex conversation with an animal and it is communicating complex opinions back to them… we’re back at either delusional or this all being a kind of sociopathic manipulation technique.

          EDIT:

          Its wild to me that Autists are often described by their tendency to attribute human like emotional capacities to things that do not have them… but its usually never pointed out that we know they don’t actually have them.

          If I had to guess, I’d say we do it as a kind of coping mechanism of projecting our own experience of being emotional entities treated as unemotional objects… onto things that actually are unemotional objects.

          If you can’t even pretend to have emotions for an object playfully, you’re likely not going to be able to treat an autistic person with empathy.

          Kind of a coping mechanism and a bullshit detector at the same time.

          • aStonedSanta@lemm.ee
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            3 months ago

            Shit. Your edit really hit home for me. I’ve always done that but in a form of humor to help me better understand peoples reactions. Can know very quickly. “Oh sorry that joke didn’t land” as a nice cover incase what I joked about was super offensive and I missed that (I’m high ADHD probably autistic but undiagnosed)

      • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        :) It’s going pretty well. My husband and I have two days off together in a row, so we’re going to deep clean the apartment.

        How are you doing?

        • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.zip
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          3 months ago

          Doing better than I’ve been in a while.

          After my doctors determined I was Autistic two years ago, my family decided I was actually schizophrenic and needed to be sent to a mental asylum in the middle of no where.

          When I did not go along with this, they deactivated my phone plan, thus locking me out of my email, bank accounts, everything I had set up with 2FA.

          Things went downhill from there, my car got stolen, I got robbed, lost my wallet and my bank cards and ids… ended up homeless for about a year, getting the shit kicked out of me by fentanyl addicts.

          But uh hey, managed to get some of my id/cards back, and lucked out and found a motel that lets me stay month to month.

          I’ve been doing my own physical therapy for half a year now and can finally walk without a bunch of braces, though only for short durations.

          I had a bunch of broken bones and torn muscles and tendons… Slowly getting back to normal.

          Good thing I managed to qualify for SSDI, otherwise I’d be dead!