People who make me feel like crap or worse off then when I encountered them consistently are written off and out of my life
Doesn’t matter if its family, nobody is entitled to your attention and suffering and it does nobody any real good for you to succumb to the inevitable dysfunction it creates in your life and relationships and also material conditions.
Embrace the difficulty, because it’s not going to go away.
Never waste a perfectly good crisis
You’d be restraining yourself without limiting ulhmm
Admit when I’m wrong.
Probably my favorite realization in life was that I might be wrong. Always, no matter how confident, we are all wrong sometimes. Even about the most basic facts, we could be wrong because brains are weird. So, I just try and minimize that while recognizing it.
And learn how to defend when you’re not. Some assholes use it as an excuse to divert blame to the guy who tends to admit fault, even if it’s not actually their fault.
No.
Forgive yourself when you fuck up
Also, if you’re not fucking up occasionally, then you’re probably not pushing yourself hard enough
If you don’t know what you want, make a choice instead of just waiting. If it’s not the right one, change your mind. It’s always ok to change your mind. Sitting in stasis means the ice cream shop closes before you ordered and now you don’t get any.
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I have two main moral guidelines by which I try to live:
A. Try to leave everything better than it was before, or at least avoid making it worse. It doesn’t have to be by much, but if every person makes things just one tiny bit better, the culminating effect will be great. Do your part.
B. The difference between a moral person and an immoral one usually doesn’t lie in the ability/inability to know right from wrong, rather in the ability to rationalize their immoral actions. Therefore:
- Doing bad things once in a while does not make you a bad person, it makes you human.
- Avoiding doing bad things 100% of the time will make you a bad person, as you’ll inevitably fail and will be forced to rationalize your actions, making it easier to do more bad things.
- What makes you a good person is the ability to know when you’re acting wrong.
From there, there are a few rules that help me along the way:
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Everyone are wrong. Assume you’re wrong about some important things/core beliefs, you’ve just yet to discover which ones. Don’t hesitate to act according to what you think is right, but understand you’re probably doing something wrong somewhere. Look for signs that show that’s the case.
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Making mistakes is fine and inevitable. Reflect on your mistakes and try not to make the same mistake twice.
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Use everything as an opportunity to learn. The best way to learn is from other people’s mistakes - it provides a visceral lesson without you having to pay the price.
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People’s opinions of you are their business, not yours. Though you should choose to use them to improve yourself when applicable.
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Admitting being wrong or admitting a mistake will not only improve things, but is a sign of strength. Not doing so is a sign of weakness. This is true both for yourself and for other people.
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Give people the benefit of the doubt and don’t be quick to judge them. Wait until you have enough data and then come to conclusions.
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No rule is correct in all situations.
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External rules (and laws) exist for a reason. If you’re going to break one of them, first understand why it’s there in the first place and why it should be ignored. Do not assume you know better than the people who came up with it.
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Blanket statements can be correct or incorrect for the most part, but they can’t be used to solely justify an action or an opinion.
When I was a teenager, I encountered a bunch of different perspectives that contradicted the beliefs and ideas that I was raised with, and I realized that if you had wrong ideas about reality and tried to be a good person based on those ideas, you could easily wind up doing more harm than good. So I made a vow to myself to always pursue the truth - to learn about the world, to examine myself and my biases, to seek out and understand different perspectives, to ground my beliefs on evidence, and to reject peer pressure and comforting lies and to face reality even when it disturbed me.
