They are blaming bad luck for their shitty personality. No matter how ugly you are. You can do things to make improvements and become more attractive to a potential partner. (Diet, exercise, breathing through your nose (for real), getting a hobby that a potential partner would like (music, draw, express yourself through poems?, car maintenance, something))
They think they’ll never find anyone because they’re under 6ft or don’t have dimples or whatever other thing these guys obsess over. It’s really because they have a shitty personality that they won’t improve their lives, so they blame everyone else for the actions that they aren’t taking.
They are blaming bad luck for their shitty personality.
I wish I was the kind of guy who liked being social and meeting new people, but I’m not. I can force myself to do it, but I can’t force myself to do it much (and I think people can tell that I would rather be going to the dentist). I didn’t choose to be like this, and I didn’t choose whatever inborn characteristics and childhood experiences made me end up like this. If there’s a way to choose not to be like this, I haven’t found it. I do think I got unlucky.
I’m not trying to complain about my fate here. I got lucky in a lot of other ways. I’m just saying that it isn’t fair to tell people that they would be happier if only they were someone else.
I know people have different hardships that I would never understand, but the outlook of ‘woe is me, I can never be happy’ I see in some people is just poop. I know people need to vent and this might be a little of that and not a 24/7 type of attitude for the people that post it.
Plus there is a whole nother part that might have mental health issues. I wouldn’t even start to pretend to understand that.
I was mainly focusing on his “it’s over for me” attitude. I know life is hard. I don’t like being social, but I learned how to turn it on if I need to. It is just very draining, but it is a good skill to develop. I’m pretty introvert but I was in the military and had to go recruiting. I was a nerd in high school and didn’t have too much of a social life. During recruiting duty, I developed some character to act like when I need to be more open and talk to groups. Not a completely different character, but more of an idea of a person to start acting like for this role. It was like old Colbert Report energy mixed with quiet samurai jack endless drive to accomplish his goal. It sucked recruiting but I made it. I was with people that hated their life too. Knowing that I was with people that hated their life and were struggling too made it easier for some reason.
I’m not trying to complain about my fate here.
I mean, go ahead if you want. It’s good to get your thoughts out.
I don’t really have a 100% correct answer, but there are different answers you could try that might point you in the right direction. My non-solicited advice is try to find a hobby that you like and work getting to know people around that. I can find places near me to do baby goat yoga on the weekend. Even if you don’t like yoga, you can check out baby goats! You can look up any comic shop, they usually host events. I want to get more into gardening and I just started looking in to amateur radio. I guess there are a bunch of ham radio groups, so I might be able to talk to people without being near them.
Public libraries host events too. They are awesome and need some more love.
Idk. I hear a lot of people are on twitch now, but I’m too busy between work and Lemmy so I’m content. Sorry for rambling and I hope you didn’t/don’t take offense, you might have tried all of that stuff. I totally understand the wanting to leave a place when I’m out in public. My wife and I have been known just to disappear early during social gatherings.
They are blaming bad luck for their shitty personality. No matter how ugly you are. You can do things to make improvements and become more attractive to a potential partner. (Diet, exercise, breathing through your nose (for real), getting a hobby that a potential partner would like (music, draw, express yourself through poems?, car maintenance, something))
They think they’ll never find anyone because they’re under 6ft or don’t have dimples or whatever other thing these guys obsess over. It’s really because they have a shitty personality that they won’t improve their lives, so they blame everyone else for the actions that they aren’t taking.
I wish I was the kind of guy who liked being social and meeting new people, but I’m not. I can force myself to do it, but I can’t force myself to do it much (and I think people can tell that I would rather be going to the dentist). I didn’t choose to be like this, and I didn’t choose whatever inborn characteristics and childhood experiences made me end up like this. If there’s a way to choose not to be like this, I haven’t found it. I do think I got unlucky.
I’m not trying to complain about my fate here. I got lucky in a lot of other ways. I’m just saying that it isn’t fair to tell people that they would be happier if only they were someone else.
I know people have different hardships that I would never understand, but the outlook of ‘woe is me, I can never be happy’ I see in some people is just poop. I know people need to vent and this might be a little of that and not a 24/7 type of attitude for the people that post it.
Plus there is a whole nother part that might have mental health issues. I wouldn’t even start to pretend to understand that.
I was mainly focusing on his “it’s over for me” attitude. I know life is hard. I don’t like being social, but I learned how to turn it on if I need to. It is just very draining, but it is a good skill to develop. I’m pretty introvert but I was in the military and had to go recruiting. I was a nerd in high school and didn’t have too much of a social life. During recruiting duty, I developed some character to act like when I need to be more open and talk to groups. Not a completely different character, but more of an idea of a person to start acting like for this role. It was like old Colbert Report energy mixed with quiet samurai jack endless drive to accomplish his goal. It sucked recruiting but I made it. I was with people that hated their life too. Knowing that I was with people that hated their life and were struggling too made it easier for some reason.
I mean, go ahead if you want. It’s good to get your thoughts out.
I don’t really have a 100% correct answer, but there are different answers you could try that might point you in the right direction. My non-solicited advice is try to find a hobby that you like and work getting to know people around that. I can find places near me to do baby goat yoga on the weekend. Even if you don’t like yoga, you can check out baby goats! You can look up any comic shop, they usually host events. I want to get more into gardening and I just started looking in to amateur radio. I guess there are a bunch of ham radio groups, so I might be able to talk to people without being near them.
Public libraries host events too. They are awesome and need some more love.
Idk. I hear a lot of people are on twitch now, but I’m too busy between work and Lemmy so I’m content. Sorry for rambling and I hope you didn’t/don’t take offense, you might have tried all of that stuff. I totally understand the wanting to leave a place when I’m out in public. My wife and I have been known just to disappear early during social gatherings.