Five days ago, drag was banned from !politicalmemes@lemmy.world for using neopronouns. A comment explaining dragās pronouns, and a comment saying ādragā isnāt a nickname, were removed with the reason ātrollingā. Drag understands why someone would think that using different pronouns than most people is trolling - transphobia. However, drag is confused how on earth not liking a nickname is a violation of any rules anywhere.
Context of the removed comments:
Drag would like to pre-empt any further accusations of trolling by asking a question: If drag were a right wing troll, and you chose to freely accept dragās pronouns, wouldnāt that completely neuter the trolling attempt? Trolling is about trying to make others upset. You donāt have to get upset when someone uses unusual pronouns. If you arenāt transphobic, then itās impossible to troll you that way. And drag promises: drag wants you to not be transphobic. Drag is not trying to upset anyone. If you do what drag wants you to do, then you get what you want too. This is a non-issue, thereās only a problem if you want there to be.
EDIT: DRAG DID NOT TELL ANYBODY TO USE DRAGāS PREFERRED PRONOUNS.
That particular type of toxicity in egg culture is no different than suggesting to a lesbian that she just hasnāt taken the right dick yet. I will never understand what makes the people who partake in that behavior feel justified in their abuse. Iām sorry you had to go through that.
This also baffles me. Though I donāt see them as more than a vocal and offensive subgroup of the greater community, those who use ācisā and ācissyā in an abusive manner are reinforcing the acceptability of using slurs.
All that said, on to the most directly pertinent parts:
This is where we get to my own hard line. I respect peopleās right to individual expression, but I do not feel compelled by that respect to play along with fantasies. I respect the right to choose oneās own gender identity on the gender spectrum, but I reject outright the idea that said spectrum includes anything and everything that oneās imagination may conjure.
In line with this, I firmly assert that first person āI/meā, āwe/usā, second person āyouā, and third person āthey/ themā are implicitly genderless pronouns. As such, they are fair game to be used with impunity as one cannot be misgendered if no gender is implied by the pronouns used to reference them. Repudiation of good faith attempts to avoid gendering someone altogether suggests that one has no interest in finding any neutral ground, and may even seek to either weaponize compassion or undermine the identity of others.
In dragonfuckerās case, Iām not sure Iāve seen them outright reject gender agnostic second or third person pronouns. I believe there was a comment suggesting that they didnāt accept āthey/themā, but that might have been another user accusing them of that. I also have not seen them reject āyouā, so I am of the assumption that theyāre acting in at least semi good faith.
That said, there is almost certainly some degree of dragonfucker purposefully acting disruptive and then crying foul when the disruptive behavior is addressed. I wonāt guess at the motive, or outright condemn disruption as a valid way of making certain points. But I equally wonāt defend throwing rocks and hiding oneās hands. If you aim to disrupt, expect to experience consequences. Otherwise, what is the point of disruption?
Edit: Before anyone brings it up, I am aware of the school of thought that regards āweā as belonging to āpersonal genderā. In my opinion, animacy/inanimacy are not germane to the discussion in this thread; if one can be conversed with, one is not inanimate.
I think it mightāve actually been worse than that, what they were saying to me, and the fact that they told me HRT + surgery is required could be considered a form of transmedicalist abuse. It really sucks that there are people like this, I wish people could just be nice and accept others for how they are. Just because I like certain dresses in a game or even that I enjoy wearing skirts and thigh highs in real life doesnāt make me a trans girl.
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Yeah theyāre a vocal minority, and generally I donāt listen to them but Iāve noticed them being active lately. And yeah they are just reinforcing the acceptability of using slurs and insults without consequence. Also I would argue they are devaluing the merit of calling out transphobia, because they say people are ātransphobic cissiesā for not agreeing or disagreeing on something they said, even if the person they said it to was literally a trans woman herself. So yeah a lot of them are super vocal trolls.
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I agree with this, I mean I will try very hard to make people feel respected and recognized but there is a point where it becomes too much and theyāre pushing it too far.
I agree with this, it is very important to have a set of pronouns that are considered default and messing with these messes up language very badly. Especially when trying to replace established first-person and second person pronouns like what dragonfucker is doing.
They have indeed rejected gender neutral pronouns:
Maybe it wasnāt extreme rejection or outright hostile but they have claimed they donāt accept them to a certain degree.
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Iām almost certain this is absolutely the motive, it was certainly the motive for DroneRights and itās very likely dragonfuckerās motive. Though they seem to be trying to be more quiet and respectful about it. Probably hoping they wouldnāt get banned if they werenāt outwardly aggressive yet that clearly hasnāt worked out because mods who see their behavior for what it is arenāt tolerating it and honestly I donāt blame them, Iād do the same thing if I saw a situation like that developing in one of my communities, itās just not worth it.
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I would agree, we generally refers to all members of the group, it doesnāt feel like it has or would have any deep gendered connotations. Itās just a way of saying all the people (or creatures) in this group (āthis groupā being ambiguous).