• febra@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    They’ll just write a Murican Bible with guns and pickup trucks.

    • Chunk@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      That is a really, really good fucking idea. We should make a Bible that is adapted to modern American vernacular and interprets some of the stories in insanely biased and hateful ways. You could make a massive amount of money.

      • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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        1 year ago

        Don’t forget that Jesus is no longer this peace preaching hippie, but mister superstar with real red blood who don’t take no shit from no pharisee. Oh, and no more free healings

        • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Don’t forget that Jesus is no longer this peace preaching hippie,

          Suppose ye that I have come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division. For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two, and two against three”

          -Luke 12:51-52

          Hmmm

          • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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            1 year ago

            I know, the bible is full of inconsistencies. Weird that the same guy also preached something along the lines of “when someone slaps your face, offer the other cheek” and told one of his apostles (Judas) to distribute the money he collected among the poor. The same hippie that also expelled the merchants from the temple with a whip. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”.

            • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              And that is “just” the philosophy ones. The biography details are massively different.

              Which isn’t surprising given that it was all made up by illiterates. Of course they couldn’t keep the details straight. Heck I have problems remembering what I had for breakfast last week and Peter was supposed to remember how many imaginary people went to an imaginary tomb and what they saw?

    • qyron@lemmy.pt
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      1 year ago

      That version sounds a good deal like Mad Max films.

      I would expect Trump at some point to “write” a book narrating his struggle in life, an inspirational narration of his hardships, to elevate his followers and supporters.

      It would make a nice companion book for this one.

    • Mirshe@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Actually, Phyllis Schlafly’s kid was trying to crowdsource a “conservative bible” translation back around 2009, claiming that modern translations were done with a “leftist bias” and that several passages were added by “liberal scholars”, including the story of the adulteress in John (“let he who is without sin cast the first stone”), and editing any mention of the Pharisees to either “intellectuals” or “the elite” depending on which ‘translator’ you wanna go with. Oh, they also get rid of Christ’s prayer on the cross, because, and I quote, “it implies that Jesus forgives unrepentant people.”

      • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        That’s hilarious. Not sure why they would need to crowdsource it however. As a good Christian scholar dont they already know the biblical languages fluently?