Hello comrades, it’s time for our first discussion thread for The Will to Change! Please share your thoughts below on the first two sections of the book. There’s quite a lot to talk about between hooks’ discussion of masculinity discourse within feminist circles, the ways both men and women uphold patriarchy, and the near universal experience of men being forced to suppress their rich emotional worlds from a young age. I’ll be posting my thoughts in a little bit after I’m done with work.
If you haven’t read the book yet but would like to, its available free on the Internet Archive in text form, as well as an audiobook on Youtube with content warnings at the start of each chapter, courtesy of the Anarchist Audio Library, and as an audiobook on our very own TankieTube! (note: the YT version is missing the Preface but the Tankietube version has it) Let me know if you’d like to be added to the ping list!
Our next discussion will be on Chapters 2 (Understanding Patriarchy) and 3 (Being a Boy), beginning on 12/4.
Thanks to everyone who is or will be participating, I’m really looking forward to hearing everyone’s thoughts! 
This chapter resonates with me in a very depressing way. I feel like even today I have a difficult time expressing real emotions, even with my gf, because it feels very vulnerable to open myself up like that considering the bad experiences I’ve had in the past with displaying emotion. Whenever i have to talk about my own feelings eith someone it feels very awkward and “cringe”, for lack of a better word, to even think about having a genuine emotional connection with someone (especially other men). Even thinking about telling someone after the fact that something they said hurt me makes me incredibly uncomfortable.
I like that Bell hooks talks about how “real men get mad” as well because it’s very frustrating to not have the willingness or experience to be able to express my feelings with the full spectrum of feeling available to others. Often the only way I’ve found I know how to express that something someone said was hurtful is frustration and anger in the moment, which just creates further strife especially when the other person gets defensive in response.