Yeah, that’s definitely some fucked up shit. You didn’t deserve to be tormented like that. There are some really fucked up people, and you’ve met far more than your share of them. If you don’t have the strength to get up, I get it. It’s understandable. And they did fail you. your parents, your teachers, your police force, and every authority figure who could have intervened but didn’t–all of them bear the blame for what you went through.

I don’t have the time to respond in detail, but I can say a few more things:

• I can attest that I won’t deliberately hurt anyone. I’ve lashed out at people verbally when I was in a bad place, but that’s the extent of it. Hell, I was bit by a random dog a few months ago and my first thought was “what happened to this dog that made it afraid of me?”. I know there are tolerant people because I talk to a few regularly, and because I do my best to be one myself.
• I don’t know what you’ve tried, but there’s a therapy called EMDR that is designed to help people with PTSD. Basically, you sit down with a trained professional and go through the memories that are stuck in your head while following some specific exercises that help you avoid getting sucked too far into them. I’ve heard it’s really helpful for some people.
• I get the feeling you recognize that I’m not the same person who hurt you, but if not, please try to remember that each person is unique. Some of them are assholes, some of them are neutral or even helpful. And if you approach anyone with aggression, you’ll usually find they respond with either fear or aggression. If you go to a bar or a crowded public park and just say “hello” in a somewhat positive tone to a few people, I bet you’ll get a range of responses. Some of them might be suspicious or want to be left alone, and some will likely be open to a conversation.