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misterdoctor@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 4 months ago

Merry Christmas to Santa's digestive tract!

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Merry Christmas to Santa's digestive tract!

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misterdoctor@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 4 months ago
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  • BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works
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    4 months ago

    Actually, there is only 1 Santa who gets cloned into every Santa believing household on earth. But this clone has a deadly allergy to milk. The body gets removed by an elf afterwards.

    • ummthatguy@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Could also be the result of transporter shenanigans. Chief O’Brien has a regularly updated copy in the pattern buffer and releases a few handfuls every holiday season… then a quick memory scan and into the matter recycler 'til next time.

      • jaybone@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        What a coincidence, every holiday season I also release a few handfuls.

    • theedqueen@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      So like a Mr Meseeks?

    • FooBarrington@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      https://youtu.be/ljV_kvV12gw

  • Sabre363@sh.itjust.works
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    4 months ago

    That doesn’t seem like that many cookies. Assuming an average of three cookies per household, that’s only ~100 million houses visted. Santa is either racist or he’s being paid off by the elven mafia to exclusively visit certain homes, only logical explanation for the discrepancy in the cookie consumption to global household ratio.

    • FooBarrington@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Gotta imagine not every house puts out cookies. And since there are ~127 million households, that seems to work out pretty well.

      Tho I have heard he leaves out Milwaukee for religious reasons.

      • raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        There are what now? This planet has 8 billion people, Einstein.

      • Sabre363@sh.itjust.works
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        4 months ago

        Ahh, but that 127 million only accounts for the United States or perhaps a few other nations. There surely are at least a couple other countries in the world that are the ‘Santa Visit Roster’

        • ℍ𝕂-𝟞𝟝@sopuli.xyz
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          4 months ago

          In a lot of places around Europe, Santa visits early December.

        • FooBarrington@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          Other countries don’t have to pay him to visit

      • M137@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        Removed by mod

        • FooBarrington@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          Only Americans have to pay for Santa to come visit

          Happy holidays from a German :)

  • qevlarr@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

  • Colour_me_triggered@lemm.ee
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    4 months ago

    deleted by creator

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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      4 months ago

      Honestly, it’s amazing he doesn’t fall out of the sleigh.

  • huquad@lemmy.ml
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    4 months ago

    I need sleep. I read this as three numbers in an array and was curious why Santa split them over three days.

    • RandomVideos@programming.dev
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      4 months ago

      Thats why i always write bigs numbers without any separators

      336150386 is so much more readable

  • AItoothbrush@lemmy.zip
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    4 months ago

    Also me after eating that many cookies on christmas night…

  • shoulderoforion@fedia.io
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    4 months ago

    bring me a bucket … and one wafer thin meeent

    • Idea@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      4 months ago

      But it’s only WHAFFER THEEN

  • JasonDJ@lemmy.zip
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    4 months ago

    My kid probably got pretty close to that number. He’s fine.

    Good kid. He’s got my wife’s eyes and my eating disorder.

  • lugal@sopuli.xyz
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    4 months ago

    He needs some time to recover. That’s why Christmas is only once a year

  • M137@lemmy.world
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    Removed by mod

    • LifeOfChance@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      The alternative is they include the whole world then it’s “not everybody celebrates christmas!!” It’s a lose/lose situation. It’s so easy to be upset and take things to serious. Lighten up enjoy the joke and move on. It’s not that deep. People aren’t gonna sit down and analyze the probable statics of who does and who does not celebrate then make a meme.

    • explodicle@sh.itjust.works
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      4 months ago

      There is absolutely no way that many Americans are on the Nice List.

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