One of the reasons I wanted to create a vampire community on Lemmy was so I could go on long rambling rants about vampire movies that no one I personally know would have any interest in hearing. This is one of those times. I expect most people won’t read this to the end.

I love the entire Underworld series. Well, except for the prequel, Rise of the Lycans. To me, the Underworld series is about Kate Beckinsale in tight black leather fighting werewolves. I don’t care to see Rhona Mitra in medieval times. Also, I think the story was better told as flashbacks in the first movie; so I was already soured on the idea of making an entire movie for a story we already saw. I don’t have anything against the movie itself (it’s fine if you like it) but I prefer Kate Beckinsale’s story. Anyway, on with my rant.

The first Underworld movie is amazing. It has everything I wanted. Plus, it did a great job of dropping little lore nuggets that weren’t relevant to the story but helped flesh out the world. And some of those nuggets come back in later movies (“There is a descendant of Corvinus lying there, not 3 feet from you!”). My one complaint about this movie is that by creating the abomination vampire/lycan hybrid in the first movie, it meant their hand was forced in later movies. They couldn’t pretend this character didn’t exist yet they had to somehow raise the stakes each time. I think in hindsight it makes this abomination less of a problem than it’s made out to be in the first movie. But of course, they didn’t know if they’d ever get a sequel so they had to go big on the first movie.

When I first saw Underworld: Evolution, I didn’t like it very much. It felt like there was a major plothole they were ignoring for the whole movie. They state explicitly that killing the first vampire would end all vampires and killing the first lycan would end all lycans. There was an implication that killing your creator would kill you (or at least end your vampire/lycan curse). Yet Selene killed Viktor in the first movie and nothing happened. And Papa Corvinus dies in this movie and nothing happens. And they kill the first lycan and nothing happens. I thought it was stupid that they’d make this big storyline about killing “the first” yet we as the audience see plenty of evidence of this not having any effect. On a recent re-watch though, I realized something. Characters lie in this series. Or at least, characters are told lies and believe them with absolute certainty.

In the first movie, one of the characters mentions the tale of the Corvinus clan. Corvinus, the first immortal, has three children. One is bitten by bat (creating the first vampire), one is bitten by wolf (creating the first lycan), and one is cursed to live a boring mortal life so we can have the “clean bloodline” storyline. Viktor laughs this off as a fairy tale and points out Marcus Corvinus is just one of the elders, not some origin of the species. We find out here in Evolution that Viktor knew this to be a lie. Viktor knew Marcus was the original vampire. He knows this because Marcus was the one who turned him. And he personally knows Marcus’ brother, William, the first lycan. I believe there are implications in both the first and second movie that Selene believes Viktor was the first vampire. She believes the Corvinus story is a fairy tale, as she’s been told. I believe Viktor had spent a lot of time downplaying Marcus’ role and propped himself up as the most important vampire. Even though he knew this to be a lie.

Now, in Evolution, we find that Marcus is the one who told Viktor that killing him would end the vampire curse (and thus either kill Viktor or turn him back to a mortal… who was already dying). He lied to cover his own ass. Viktor didn’t actually need him; Marcus just didn’t want to die. And when Viktor wanted to kill Marcus’ brother William (the first lycan) because he was too feral, Marcus told the same lie to protect his brother. Viktor needed his lycan slave class, so he couldn’t kill William. Viktor had no reason to question this claim and spent his entire vampire life explaining this limitation to other vampires. At no point does the movie say “Marcus lied! He made it all up!” so I didn’t actually notice this until many years later. And now I think the story is actually very consistent; it’s just that most characters don’t have the full picture and we never hear any other characters contradict them.

Moving on. When I first watched Underworld: Awakening I actually really liked it. I liked how it moved the world forward. This wasn’t just Selene fighting one battle after another, one movie after another. Instead, the world itself could change. However, on a re-watch, I realize this is the weakest movie. All of the exciting parts happen off-screen. In this movie, the world learns of the existence of vampires and lycans. The lycans somehow take over and vampires are on the verge of extinction. Selene and her abomination boy-toy Michael are captured. And none of that is seen in the movie; it’s all just the setup. Selene just wakes up in this world. And since vampires are on the verge of extinction, there isn’t any aristocratic politicking in this one. The vampires are living more like the lycans used to, underground and in packs. Also, the actor who played the abomination Michael (the central character in the overarching story) decided not to come back. So all we see is re-used footage of him from previous movies and the back of his stunt double’s head. While the movies always follow Selene, Michael’s character is actually the one driving the plot. So this movie was forced to remove its primary plot device. It seems the smart thing to do would’ve been to just kill off the character. Also, this movie introduces a genetically engineered child of Selene and Michael who becomes the new abomination MacGuffin; they don’t even need Michael anymore. Re-using footage and only showing him from behind was a bad choice.

When I first watched Underworld: Blood Wars, I didn’t like it. But when I recently re-watched the entire series, I found myself changing my opinion a lot. Now I think this movie is very good. It’s a nice “return to form” after Awakening. The aristocratic vampire politicking is back, for one. And I’m a fan of that. Honestly, my biggest problem had been too much “magic” in this movie, which was never really present before. I mean, you could argue vampires and lycans are already magic, but there was never any “spirit realm” stuff until this movie. But now I just see it as expanding the universe/lore and I’m not mad about it. Plus, we’ve had so many movies of upping the stakes and power levels (over 9,000!) that we’re basically at DBZ levels of needing to power-up the character. Selene needed an upgrade. It also gives Selene a reason to still be relevant to the story since up until this point she was always with (or tracking down) Michael. This movie ends with an attempted “passing the torch” to a new character so Kate Beckinsale doesn’t have to wear black leather outfits in her 50s. I don’t know if the series will ever continue with this daughter character though. It’d probably feel too forced.

If you’ve read this far into my ramblings, you’ve probably thought more about the Underworld series than you have in years. Good for you! While these movies are mostly derided, I think they all follow a cohesive, coherent storyline and I really enjoyed re-watching them all back-to-back recently. Highly recommended for vampire action movies.