I can relate… If it is worth doing, it must be done 100% right, first try, zero margin for error, no rehearsals, no practise round.
Like rocket science!
(Except I know that’s not how rocket science is done, either, but somehow that thought refuses to sink in)
A bunch of pennies just dropped (diagnosed autistic as an adult, so this happens a lot)…
At my school we didn’t really have to hand in drafts for written assignments, but in maths, I’d always have to “show my work” when I was doing the work in my head and writing it down just seemed like a waste of time, but the teachers just refused to have me write down the result (which I kind of get, but if I’m getting it right just let me get on with it?).
Then I went to art school, and they kept wanting me to do this “show my work” thing again, only in art?? And I’m like… It’s in my head, and when I’ll get it out of my head, that’ll be the art, I don’t understand what you want from me??? (like they literally wanted you to stop at every stage and “annotate” what you were doing, completely getting in the way of both your flow and creativity. As if you can’t explain your ideas at the end? or even not at all? why do I have to explain everything to you, it’s ART?!).
Phew, sorry, that’s some pent up frustration I clearly still had there… 😂
I remember this with math when I was young. Show my work? “I looked at the problem and realized that this was the answer.”
This has always frustrated me too. For me the biggest frustration with this is that putting my thoughts into words is hard work since they are usually abstract. So explaining how my thought process was for any given result is painful, especially if it’s a longer thought process. I imagine it’s so easy for people who think in words, that they can not understand what the problem is.