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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/zesty7203764 on 2023-09-03 15:50:25.
My sister is two years younger than me and has autism. Lately she’s been saying stuff such as “Get over it” “Don’t be a baby” “You’re stupid” Dumb little insults, etc etc. I’ve told her that it genuinely hurts my feelings, but she goes off again telling me she doesn’t care and that I’m a wuss, etc.
I have tried to tell our mum about this but she told me every time, “She doesn’t understand what she’s saying, you need to give her time, she’s still learning what’s right and wrong to say.” Which is bullcrap, because she’s 13 and even with autism should know what’s okay and what’s not to say, I get it if she accidentally says something disrespectful without realising it once, but when she continues with an attitude and mean comments and insults, that’s too far and I think she knows it. I’m not saying I know her situation at all but I’ve told her how I feel. She should know by now.
So a few nights ago, at the dinner table, I was saying something that happened during school that day and she blurted out, “Nobody cares!”. Silence. I sighed and expressed my annoyance, clearly frustrated since she’d interrupted me to be snarky. My mum saw the frustration in me and quietly told me, “Come on, you know she has autism. You can’t get mad at her, she doesn’t know that this is wrong of her.” And I just bursted. I stood up and started yelling, and I was so mad that I can barely remember what I said but it was something like “I know she has autism but come on. She’s being a complete b-word (don’t know if the real word can be said here), and she knows it. I’ve told her how I feel so many times and she’s been all snarky and a-hole-ish about it. She has to know by now that she’s making me upset, accept it guys, she’s being a fat b- and we all know it.” I stormed up to my room and I’d lost my appetite.
My family didn’t talk to me for that whole night, and my sister cried loudly basically the whole time. My family is now giving me annoyed looks when I walk by and they’re speaking to my other sisters but not me, they’ll give me lunch for school but they won’t talk and they’ll give me an angry face when I look at them.
I don’t know if I should apologise for what I said. My sister looks genuinely really upset when I go by or do anything. Now, I know that girl, despite her autism she puts on a good poker face, but it looks so genuine and real this time around.
AITA?
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Yes and no. You should apologize for the outburst. There are so many levels to autism, so it is hard to give advice on that part, but if you believe that she is doing that on purpose, then you will need to understand what you will build a wall with the rest of your family.