I don’t know where the purpose of my life is. I looked where I last saw it and it isn’t there anymore. It’s like losing your keychain. All I can do is hope I forgot it somewhere at home because I sure can’t go outside without it. I wanna find joy in things again, and it is so difficult to get you shit together when everything feels so meaningless.
The more I look for the keys the more I fear I lost them for good. Which makes me not wanna search for them at all and just distract myself with random stuff. I think that describes my situation quite well.
Anyway I’m sad. But I hope you all are doing okay!
There is no meaning. We make are own meaning arbitrarily. That’s what it means to be human, ND or not.
Work on your CBT, work on medication if needed, go through the day working on little wins, they add up to big ones without even realizing it.
Also make sure you sleep right. People harp on eating and working out but I found a great spot with a good medicine regimen which also helped me start and end the days right. Adderall XR 30mg, Clonidine, and Nortryptyline ftw. The Naltrexone helped a ton with cutting down on the alcohol self medication.
Feeling little guilts constantly is the default for a lot of people, I’d wager more people than not. It’s how we prime our brains to do the things we don’t want to do. Most NT people just don’t have as big an issue with it. It’s comforting knowing almost everyone has that issue but still get along in their days relatively fine. It puts me at ease knowing everyone else is in their own little world too. Even the people closest to me.