No big self help lemmy so I had to ask it somewhere else. Alright, I’m an university student but:
- I don’t like too much noise (no parties or bars).
- I only go to university twice per week and it’s far from home.
- I don’t like dating apps.
- Social media imo stresses me out instead of helping me.
- Can’t steal friends of friends: New city, I know no one here.
- I suck abismally at sports. Also I don’t have a sporty profile.
- Board/cardgame shops usually catter to people aged 30 and over as they can actually buy the games.
I’m just, like, out of ideas where to meet people aged 16-26. My best shot so far was in public transport but I’m usually too tired to bother. Been thinking of joining a DnD table or something just to meet people already rofl.
What are your hobbies, go find where people do then together and join in.
If you don’t have many hobbies, try something new that may pique your interest.
Unfortunately most people your age are going to be at parties, university, and sports. You’re limiting your chance of success by removing those options, do it’s going to be hard. You’ll have to put in the work.
I’m no expert, as I’m also a cripplingly lonely adult, but I’d say it’s not “limiting your chances” to avoid hanging around overstimulating situations with people you wouldn’t have been friends with anyway.
Let me rephrase. The chances for friendships for people who enjoy these activities are significantly greater for people who don’t at.
OP could force themselves to attend, and possibly make friends that way, but it’s very likely the friends will want to continue to do those things.
I would also like to remind people that the way you are is not set in stone. You can change if you want to. I used to be an introverted loaner who worked on being extroverted and accomplished it. It’s what I wanted though, I idolized extroverts. This may not apply to OP
I would also like to remind people that the way you are is not set in stone. You can change if you want to. I used to be an introverted loaner who worked on being extroverted and accomplished it. It’s what I wanted though, I idolized extroverts.
Congrats I guess? Most people can’t alter fundamental parts of their personality though. Especially if it’s tied up with their neurological reality. Like, I’m autistic. I’m not going to be able to just will myself into not finding large groups uncomfortable.
Most people can change, and do. Most people can’t prevent it. Change is one of the only constants in life.
You sound like you have extra challenges with autism. If this is something that is negatively affecting your life, I would recommend looking into a counselor or therapist.
Best of luck. To both you and OP.
Spend more time at university, make a social network, and do what your friends are doing. Universities have whole departments around student life. Creating activities for students. Leverage that.
Make friends with the 30+s at your board game shops. Having a social network is healthy, your not marrying them
Your in NYC, there is a literal uncountable number of things to do there. Don’t try to make perfect friends. Make any friends. Don’t worry about age, focus on shared interest.
I’m not in NYC, kek.
Anyway, the hard part is that I’m not in the USA and universities work very differently, but the practice of students gathering around always happen. Someone suggested joining things thought out for other fields and I think it’s the best idea so far since I don’t really mingle with people who study my subject. But giving the board game shops a fair chance is not a bad idea either. TY!
