Imagine celebrating Xmas in QLD Australia. December 25th and 26th are often the most humid days of the year, or very close to it. Storm season is threatening, but not quite delivering so that humidity just builds and builds but rarely breaks.

It’s so hot that nobody can sleep. Your house is filled with in-laws you can barely stand and their awful offspring screeching on everyone’s final sleep deprived, sweat drenched nerve.

You shower three times a day, but you are dripping rivers of sweat again before you can get your fresh clothes on.

Everyone sits down to a massive hot Christmas meal (as is tradition) and the table is decorated with heavily snow themed decore. Snowmen feature heavily…for some reason none of the kids quite understand.

Nat King Cole croons in the background about chestnuts on an open fire.

Everyone drinks heavily, wishing they had never moved to this cursed continent.

Relationships are under new strain.

People talk about the looming climate crisis and you finally snap.

Looming?! This country has NEVER been fit for human habitation! Never!

Nat King Cole keeps crooning from some blessed snowy heaven but he’s drowned out by the shrill of cicadas.