• arabiclearner [none/use name]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      1 year ago

      Teach me your ways

      Good luck finding a leftist to give you concrete, actionable dating advice beyond “don’t be creepy and don’t smell weird.” I posted a good video a while back, but sadly it got very little engagement here: https://hexbear.net/post/613122. I’d highly recommend that video as it gives concrete advice.

    • RyanGosling [none/use name]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      Don’t put them on pedestals. Which is easier said than done because finding someone attractive and pursuing them means they’re above everyone else in terms of priority and interest, so it’s basically putting them on a pedestal. But try to eliminate that “imagining a future with them” idea, at least when you’re talking to them. When you’re more focused on the conversation, you’re not picturing the two of you on some mountain top making out in the car while she’s talking about test scores.

      People like to give the advice “people like talking about themselves so ask questions,” but don’t take this too literally. If you find yourself asking question after question because all she does is answer and say nothing else, move on. I don’t care how much people like talking about themselves. If you have no interest in contributing to the conversation, there’s no point in me humoring you. Trying to push it will just make you look desperate, aloof, or annoying.

      Offer your contact info. If she cares about you, she might text you. Otherwise, move on. Women tend to feel obligated to keep replying to weirdos out of kindness or safety, so if she’s the one messaging you first and trying to keep you on the line, then maybe she’s actually interested, otherwise she can ignore you and you’ll be even weirder by bringing it up like “hey… I gave you my number last week but you haven’t texted me. Can you make sure I gave you the right one?”

      Here’s the truth: ugly, weird, and/or bland people fuck. The world is harsh, but unless you’re physically disfigured such as the Green Man , society will give you a chance. I dont mean any of this to be insulting for those who are disfigured. It’s just being awkward or fat is not a deal breaker compared to having no mouth or eyes. In fact I think being pessimistic is more insulting (and I am guilty of this) because they likely have 0%-1% of finding someone whereas you just sound weird while talking to girls.