tl;dr: have a friend who has historically always been mad when his friends got a gf/wife. He acts like he’s 15 years old and saying “bros before hoes” still. He calls me and other friends a yuppie or breeder, and he thinks crosswalks are authoritarian so he has to always be a “rebel” and make it seem like he has the most unique viewpoint in the world. He doesn’t change anything about himself, and he’s stubbornly proud of having “no filter.” This has caused every wife/gf of his friends to not like him. He will never be invited to any kind of social event because he will say stupid shit. Like, nobody has to be a rabid commie all the fucking time. Him and my gf got into a huge fight because he always talks like an asshole, and i live with my gf, so he doesnt come to my house at all because he’ll say some shit. He still brings up this fight when im around him, and it’s like get the fuck over it. I basically don’t share anything about my life that involves my partner now, because he’ll say something fucking stupid about her. He also begins a lot of sentences with “well” or “actually” which is never helpful. He literally can’t admin when he is wrong, even about the simplest shit.
This really all seemed to get worse once I started my current long term relationship, and then it got way worse when my gf got sick of his shitty attitude and how he treats everyone like an asshole. He literally just can’t be chill at all. No leftist(or similar) should be ranting constantly about every single injustice during every single social situation. That is exhausting to be around, and there is a time and place for it, but there has to be an ability to switch that shit off.
Finding and keeping relationships requires changing yourself just a bit, and making compromises, and it’s now become apparent he isn’t capable of that.
related question: have you ever dumped a long time friend? This is all a somewhat recent change, like the past 3-4 years, and it really seems to be because im in a relationship like most of our friend group, so now he’s totally alone. Ive heard him say he’s in therapy but i have to wonder if that’s true, because it clearly isn’t working. I’m annoyed by him but I pity him too because he can’t fucking change for anybody at all.
I wonder if there’s something to the price of transitioning surgery that makes some people go “truescum” over it because they want their investment to feel special and exclusive over the rabble.
I’ve thought about that angle myself. Oh, so nobody was trans before modern medicine? Two-Spirits in Native culture were just playing pretend? Poor people can’t be trans? What’s next? Too old to transition? The argument has so many holes you could use it for a colander.
Truescum are a lot like the fairweather “progressive” gay people that kicked the ladder down and went MAGA the moment gay marriage was federally protected.
I think a lot of trans people want so badly for there to be an objective measure of when you should be considered a particular gender.
To them, the gender spectrum being a sliding scale leaves them open to accusations of “not really” being their preferred gender. Medicalism, which is not an objective measure, at least approaches a level of objectivity that can provide more structure and “proof” than cultural approaches.
its really crazy. i like to think a lot of them grow out of it, the pain of surgery can kinda fuck your head up for a couple of years sometimes
I know that heart surgeries have a well documented history of often permanently altering many patients’ personalities (not like the patient often had a choice in the matter, but still). I wouldn’t be surprised if other surgeries could do something like that, too. I mean I assume most trans-related surgeries are a positive escape from dysphoria.