tl;dr: have a friend who has historically always been mad when his friends got a gf/wife. He acts like he’s 15 years old and saying “bros before hoes” still. He calls me and other friends a yuppie or breeder, and he thinks crosswalks are authoritarian so he has to always be a “rebel” and make it seem like he has the most unique viewpoint in the world. He doesn’t change anything about himself, and he’s stubbornly proud of having “no filter.” This has caused every wife/gf of his friends to not like him. He will never be invited to any kind of social event because he will say stupid shit. Like, nobody has to be a rabid commie all the fucking time. Him and my gf got into a huge fight because he always talks like an asshole, and i live with my gf, so he doesnt come to my house at all because he’ll say some shit. He still brings up this fight when im around him, and it’s like get the fuck over it. I basically don’t share anything about my life that involves my partner now, because he’ll say something fucking stupid about her. He also begins a lot of sentences with “well” or “actually” which is never helpful. He literally can’t admin when he is wrong, even about the simplest shit.
This really all seemed to get worse once I started my current long term relationship, and then it got way worse when my gf got sick of his shitty attitude and how he treats everyone like an asshole. He literally just can’t be chill at all. No leftist(or similar) should be ranting constantly about every single injustice during every single social situation. That is exhausting to be around, and there is a time and place for it, but there has to be an ability to switch that shit off.
Finding and keeping relationships requires changing yourself just a bit, and making compromises, and it’s now become apparent he isn’t capable of that.
related question: have you ever dumped a long time friend? This is all a somewhat recent change, like the past 3-4 years, and it really seems to be because im in a relationship like most of our friend group, so now he’s totally alone. Ive heard him say he’s in therapy but i have to wonder if that’s true, because it clearly isn’t working. I’m annoyed by him but I pity him too because he can’t fucking change for anybody at all.
I just hope he becomes a better person. After his second divorce he married some chud woman that he quickly got pregnant and they moved to the middle of nowhere. We have a mutual friend from high school who also went off a different deep end (religious), but is a lovely person - him and his wife helped the asshole guy’s second wife escape the violence, so they learned a lot of details they don’t want to repeat. But one time he said to me “I think he’s moving out into the sticks so no one can hear his wife scream”…
Horror movie material. This means to me that he is truly a dangerous person and I pray that he never meets you guys again, unless you’re all armed and ready to deal with him.
Def armed up, and he’s blocked by us on social media. Last time he reached out was over 3 years ago so I think we’re in the clear. Thing is, personality wise he’s almost a clone of my brother, whom we know is much more of a danger to us (christo-fascist and active III%er). We don’t see him unless he shows at holidays, and we refuse to be alone with him. Shits fucked, but I have no regrets keeping these kinds of people out of our lives.