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BS Headline designed to give us heart attacks
This headline was written in the style of the doctor from Arrested Development.
Headline: “They did all we could to save him.”
Article: And they did.
“It looks like he’s dead.”
“Wait a minute. Is he actually dead or just looks like it.”
“Just looks like it. He’s got blue paint on him or something.”
“Your brother is all right.”
“Oh thank god…”
“A seal bit off his left hand, so he’s all right now.”
“YOU SON OF A BITCH”
I studied math in grad school and was trying to figure out wtf Bernhard Riemann, a German mathematician in the 1800s, had to with football. It is, in fact, impossible for him to play for the colts today.