“Tommy, tommy, ya gotta get ready fa church. Let’s go, your grahndmutha alreadys got the pork roll ready and ya eggs are gettin cold, sweety, yav got to get up and go.”
“Ma. MA. I TOLJA already. I can’t! I play for the Giants now, I gotta game! I gotta get ta work, ma! You KNÜ this!”
“Ah, so your little game is more important than breakfast with your grandma and your own mother. Fine. Go play ya game, Thomas.”
“Tommy, tommy, ya gotta get ready fa church. Let’s go, your grahndmutha alreadys got the pork roll ready and ya eggs are gettin cold, sweety, yav got to get up and go.”
“Ma. MA. I TOLJA already. I can’t! I play for the Giants now, I gotta game! I gotta get ta work, ma! You KNÜ this!”
“Ah, so your little game is more important than breakfast with your grandma and your own mother. Fine. Go play ya game, Thomas.”
“I wish the Lord would take me now”
Don’t you wave your hanky at me ☝️
Tommy DeVito never had the makings of a varsity athlete.
He led the Giants to victory, is what he did! And in this house, Tommy DeVito is a hero, end of shtory!!!
You used to say the same thing to all the girl cousins, it was very hurtful
Summa those guys at Seton Hall were 7 feet tall
TOMMY DEVITO INVENTED THE FORWARD PASS AND HE GOT ROBBED! EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT!
This is so fucking accurate that it hurts my sides
No self-respecting North Jersey-ian would call it pork roll. Taylor ham or die
“At least you’ll be home fuh Sunday dinnah right”?
……
“I’m a terrible motha, my own son, not gonna be home fuh Sunday dinnah”.
Cedar Grove is Taylor ham territory
Your MOM is Taylor Ham territory
Taylor ham not pork roll.
Is this original? If so bravo this is amazing
“Tommy what’s da matah with you, you’re breakin your muthas hart 🤌🤌🤌”
“Ya cousin Nicky is a big shot stock trader at the strip mall next to Vito’s Daily Slice, AND HE still makes time fuh his grandma and his mahm!”
oh god all my catholic guilt just came back at once.
I’m gonna go call my mom
…did you write for The Sopranos?
Foosball?!?!!
Is Tommy’s mom my mom? Well done capturing the Italian-American mom guilt, which, for some reason, always includes the use of their kids’ full name.
*taylor ham
Tommy’s dad for sure wears a wife-beater and a gold chain of St. Mary, and chews on a the same toothpick all day
This was the amazing thank you for this
The “Thomas” at the end is what makes this authentic.