🤣 Back in the days of 3.5, I was the only one in the party with knowledge of dungenering. I RP’d a ditzy elf and would roll my d20 to make choices. I rolled and ended up staying at the mouth of the dungeon while the rest of the party went inside.

The wizard had kegs of infinite gun powder. The rogue “emptied” the kegs and put in booze. … The eventual resulting explosion collapsed the dungeon, destroyed the town on top of it, and only my elf survived because she didn’t go in.

Always geek the mage first.

I have someone in my campaign who keeps accidentally saying “I cast fireball” instead of “firebolt” and it freaks me out

if my fireball chucking cleric could read she’d be very upset

Nah mate. Kill the cleric first or the wizard won’t stay killded

This must be posted in dungeons in BG3. Every time I take Gale along for an adventure he ends up in a heap on the floor.

In England, Smokey the Bugbear is not the forest-fire-prevention representative. They have Smackie the Froghemoth. It’s a lot like a bugbear, but it’s a froghemoth. And that’s a better system, I think we should adopt it. Because bugbears can be mean, but froghemoths are always cool. Never has there been a froghemoth hopping toward me and I thought, “Man, I better play dead!”

The last part’s a bit of a stretch but what am I gonna do, come up with something funny on my own instead of copy-pasting and changing two words