• YuccaMan [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    I play girl characters in games far more than I used to, but I mean, I don’t think I’m uncomfortable with my assigned gender(?)

    However, I wouldn’t be truthful here if I didn’t admit that I’ve started to question how comfortable I really am with living life as a man. I can’t tell if there’s something about that I don’t like, or if I’m just dissatisfied with life in general right now. Or both.

    One thing I do know for sure is that girl characters are just more fun to look at. Seriously, my favorite Tav on BG3 is just the most beautiful Amazonian tiefling, I love her so much

    • JohannaChittarra@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      Questioning is good! I love when folks take the opportunity to explore their gender. Even if at the end of it you find you are in fact cis, you are deepening your knowledge of yourself and your gender identity. Honestly, I think the world would be a better place if everyone took the time to do that. All the best to you in the new year!

      • YuccaMan [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        11 months ago

        Thank you so much, you as well! And yeah, this has been a weird, difficult year for me, and it’s come with a fair bit of introspection for sure. I finally admitted to myself that I’m bisexual, though I’m already committed and haven’t been able to really explore that yet.

        At any rate, my most honest answer that I can give right now is that I’m probably cis, but not terribly interested in performing manhood traditionally. How far and in what fashion I want to break away from that is something I haven’t yet figured out. But I might also on some level be conflating those feelings with the deep envy and yearning I feel when I see the solidarity between women, particularly trans women, and other queer people generally. It’s made me realize just how lonely I’ve been for so many years. Part of that is on me, I’m terrible about putting myself out there, but I suspect it’s also to do with manhood generally. Whatever the case, I really am tired of it.

        • Dessa [she/her]@hexbear.net
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          11 months ago

          … deep envy and yearning I feel when I see the solidarity between women, particularly trans women, and other queer people generally…

          This is another common trans thought. Doesnt necessarily mean anytjing though either. Gender envy isn’t entirely within the realm if trans, it just manifests differently.

          Best way to know is to try acting on gendery thoughts you would normally suppress, if touve been suppressing stuff. Experimentation is key to ajy self discovery.

          If you’re sure you’re cis, the point of experimentation might be lost on you, or at least not particularly appealing on some level.

          • YuccaMan [he/him]@hexbear.net
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            11 months ago

            It’s pretty hard for me to imagine what I would look like lol, tall and burly and hairy as I am now, but certainly nothing about that possibility bothers me. I’ve always preferred the company of women. Totally not incriminating myself further here, I know

      • YuccaMan [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        11 months ago

        I’ll have to give that some thought myself, but of course, in the best of all possible worlds, we would redefine what masculinity even is, as it’s clear that many aspects of traditional masculinity are harmful, to us and to everyone around us