• hansl@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Ask once, be clean about it, look like a dork for a few minutes, if she says no, let it go and never mention it again.

    The annoying creep is likely to do ask her out twice a week.

    Theres no way to ask without looking weird, but the follow up is what distinguishes regular guys from creeps.

    • andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works
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      11 months ago

      There’s no need to even ask them out right away. Just having a casual conversation and making them speak of their interests can warm them to you.

      Are they your coworker? Sigh at how needy clients are, tell how you want to have a break, ask what they want to do when they have them. Discuss details.

      A cinema worker is harder, but you can play a dummy and ask them if they see the movies screened there and can vouch for some of them or if they can suggest some snack from a bar, to break the ice.

      People like talking about themselves. All have hilarious stories to tell. One needs to make them open up and react in a supportive way. Looking up interviewers on youtube can get one a better idea of how it’s done than these greesy pick-up artists. Genuinely enjoying a conversation rather than being hungry for a pussy\dick and making it all about yourself is a great start.

      • Custoslibera@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Great advice 10/10.

        If you go in trying to bed them you’re likely going to crash and burn.

        Just try to make them a friend it’s a win win win because if you hit it off then you get a friend, if the attraction is reciprocated you may get relationship, if they aren’t interested in you but see you as a good person they may try to set you up with a friend of theirs that is single.

        Can’t lose with this method.

        • WillFord27@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          I think they meant you learn more about their personality to know if you want to be with them in the first place. Why wouldn’t you want to learn more about someone you want to be with?

        • andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works
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          11 months ago

          I wonder how you’ve read my message to get this take. I’m reading that standing on my head and still can’t see how it’s about picking up. Picking down, maybe, yet it’s questionable. Asking another person of their life isn’t picking someone down, it’s just showing interest in them and letting them tell something about themselves. It’s a basic courtesy. And it probably started relationships of parents of many people in this thread, yours and mine included. It’s just a normal dating starter. While pickdown (pickup?) is a snake oil strategy that promises one to get a pussy while ignoring another person completely and it doesn’t really work that way unless you pay for a sexworker’s service. And I don’t think OP wants that at all. If they want a normal relationship, making a future partner talk about something they like is a good starting point - that’s what I was talking about.

        • fibojoly@sh.itjust.works
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          11 months ago

          No, you flex your social skills by trying to get to know the person you’re, at this point, only physically attracted to. These are all things a normal person who doesn’t need dating advice knows. But here we are, spelling it out for those I the back of the class.

          • richieadler@lemmy.myserv.one
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            11 months ago

            These are all things a normal person who doesn’t need dating advice knows.

            So any person with some difficulties should just go fuck themselves. Got it.

            Did you enjoy your popularity in high school? Did you punch many weird people for fun?

    • Drusas@kbin.social
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      11 months ago

      What you describe is absolutely the way to do it without looking weird. Don’t be aggressive about it, accept a no or an awkward silence or similar as being a no, respond in a pleasant tone and not an aggressive one, and you should be pretty good to go without being seen as a creep, as long as you don’t repeat it later. Of course, don’t make a point of going around hitting on women in gyms or who are at work, but it can be done tactfully.