• after hearing many disaster stories from my GenX colleagues about their own parents’ decline, my sister and i approached our well-off boomer parents years ago, articulating a plan to take care of them as they entered their dotage. they had spent the last 15 years doing their retirement on their 24-7 travel and treats. so, sib and i thought a general consolidation of our resources and energy into a single, multigenerational household with a pleasant climate, a nice garden and walkability to things would be a cool move. my sibling and i have a little savings, graduate degrees, and stable jobs, though we are not near to each other. we are fortunate that we can probably relocate and find work in some affordable places, but without a little of our parents wealth we could never hope to afford something functional and comfortable for everyone.

    considering all the predatory organizations out there fleecing older people and the boomer desire to see us and their grandkid more, it seemed like win/win. neither of us minded the idea of taking care of our parents and living in a big chaotic household, given the time and material security necessary. sure, we would drive each other crazy sometimes, but that’s family. and there would be enough of us to share the burden.

    well last year, after they had agreed and let us think we were all working towards this project for years, the boomers pulled out the rug and said they are going to continue to shamble themselves onto all the big treat boats all year and keep their giant money pit mcmansion in their friendless, CHUD-filled malarial zone, and they would not be a part of this. there would be no sunset years together. they believe, despite the mounting evidence of their enfeebled confusion and many low paid workers in their wake, that they are independent and self-reliant and the party will not be stopping. because, unlike their parents at this age, they will not be turning over the reigns. they want to continue to make all the decisions unilaterally. like the decision to not shower for 6 days. or the decision to clog a toilet and not tell anyone.

    so now my sib and i are scrambling to figure out our own plan B, while waiting for the day where we get the call that they’ve been ripped off by some scumbag, that they’ve lost everything, they are stranded somewhere insane, and we need to take vacation time off immediately to come collect them and insert them into whatever crappy nursing home we can find, because neither one of us has room to take them in, the money to afford those places, let alone the time to look after them.

    so despite our best efforts to be a proactive and communicative family, this is going to go down just like it will for every other dipshit old timer that is too busy pretending like their 70s are the new 50s, unable to see the brick wall they are careening towards. i’ve committed to never feeling guilty about whatever crap situation they end up in, because we offered to help them and they turned us down.

    • Tankiedesantski [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      9 months ago

      like the decision to not shower for 6 days. or the decision to clog a toilet and not tell anyone.

      Well maybe they just didn’t want to live with Mr. Bourgeois McShowersEveryday.

      Jokes aside, I don’t even know what the point of having kids is if you’re not going to spend your elder years with them. All the work and cost of rearing children, and then still dying alone?

      • Scew1 [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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        9 months ago

        They were all trained to watch the propaganda (spelled N E W S) religiously so when the signal comes for “fuck the millennials” and they’ve been indoctrinated into these cults for longer than their kids have been alive… it probably doesn’t even consciously register for them at all.