BOOOOOOO! (huge compliment)

Just for some amount of levity, a tale of Halloween past: the year one of my friends dressed in a banana costume and threw bananas at people while another friend dressed as a gorilla and chased him and we all drunkenly chortled

So fucking perfect

Recently switched from getting pickle spears to baby dills. So much better, so very crunchy. But for some reason I can’t stop calling them cornichons in the Brace Belden gourmand voice

I don’t think the Nazis were as cry bullyish as Zionists (it’s difficult to be)

I remember from the book Volokolamsk Highway that the author emphasized at several points that damn near every nazi soldier who was wounded even slightly would stop fighting and just scream at the top of their lungs until evacuated. This was contrasted against Soviet soldiers continuing to fight when wounded and suffering in silence so as not to reveal their positions. Not that this disproves your statement at all, it just makes me chuckle and kind of reminded me of that is all

Please let this become a new election time tradition

I’ve seen so many weird custom made yard signs this year. Most of them are for actual candidates or at least the party generally, but several are just (trying to be) funny spoofs. The best one I’ve seen so far is “I’M AN ASSHOLE! Not running for anything, just wanted my own sign” which is so dumb it caught me off guard

How to go completely deaf in one easy step

My condolences for your poor heart, for being so very on fire

Except the one who survived, and then got shot by a landowner who thought he was trespassing

And also the classic “for your information”

Has anyone ever started a sentence with “Just so you know …” and then not proceeded to be the world’s most condescending asshole? I hate that phrase and the way smug assholes utilize it grrrr

I thought they were like co-mascots or something. But I honestly have no clue

Mr Peanut is a seemingly successful businesspeanut, and surely must have some amount of staff to aid him in his daily functions. Do you think this includes his own peanut butler?

. . . (sorry)

Imagine the chud rage if China actually started buying US real estate en masse the way they already think is happening

Also in the movie one of the main characters has a very racist nickname that they all insist on using

“Oh geez, sorry didn’t mean to interrupt!”

Also applies to accidentally disturbing a cat while they’re licking their butt, when they look up and give you the withering stare

This and the reactions to the Jackson State University massacre were exactly what I was thinking of

Lol you got me