Mr. McCarthy’s original election was illegitimate, as has been acknowledged by a large part of the international community. I am fully able and willing to assume the office of house speaker on an interim basis to call for free and fair elections.

oh god oh fuck

I am humbled and honored to nominate myself to serve as California’s interim senator. My first order of business will be restoring the confederate flag to San Francisco, followed shortly by co-sponsoring a bipartisan resolution condemning the Green New Deal.