to be fair, i think it might just be because it’s funny. it is funny.

they’re also perpendicular to the positive real numbers

almost as if they’re exactly between both the positive and real numbers

you have to put it into an ai image generator

i told my partner about it and sent them a link and they didn’t click it because they were convinced it was an elaborate rick roll

You rolled an 18, which is good but not enough to spontaneously generate an item you don’t have.

it’s been about a day and it’s done drying.

I SWEAR TO GOD. I AM NOT INFLATING THE AMOUNT OF 20S. THIS IS THE THIRD 20 I ROLLED.

Guard: “Why, of course, Gobby the Goblin! You can use the pissing area that’s helpfully marked.”

You dig up 10 ounces of perfectly intact saltpeter.

Yes. You just put salt, coal, and brimstone in there and crushed it.

she doesn’t know the true meaning of _____mas. You also don’t have the coal anymore, someone else used it to try and make black powder and failed.

you rolled an 8, so, the mixture does not come together to form black powder. why would it? it would’ve only worked on 20s and only because 20s have the ability to warp space and time.

anyways, you have a foul concoction in the ye flask.

given that you’re already a goblin now, do you want to stick to asking for the wizard or naw

You walk up to the lady at the dennis and ask her if they have any brimstone.

Given that you just rolled a 20, she said that she just has some that you can have (it’s stinky and she doesn’t want it).

+3 Chunks of Brimstone

You exit the dennis and head back to the castle.

you approach the weiner drawing, but there’s two guards patrolling the area.

you… fucking hell. you roll a 20.

I’M NOT KIDDING. I WANTED TO KEEP THIS RELATIVELY GROUNDED. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO JUST MAKE GOBLIN NOISES AND GET KICKED OUT OF THE DENNIS.

okay you’re a goblin now. i know that technically there isn’t a 5% chance of manifesting goblinhood but, fine, whatever, we’re a goblin now.

status: +is a goblin

+2 atk, -2hp

+3 stealth

+1 shenanigans (schemes, chicanery, hijinx etc. become more effective)

+goblin sized dagger (+2 atk)

you can do that but the peasant that this forum is connected to is already outside. or was outside like 2000 years ago.

you enter the dennis and ask for a “weird old wizard”

the lady at the front looks at you strangely.

you find salt, coal, and you don’t know where to get any sulfur.

+2 tbsp Salt +1 Lump of Coal

apologies, you already used it to draw a weiner on the side of the castle. you can try to find a new one.

there’s no statue, but you’re close enough to the castle and that’s kind of close enough to a statue. you use your dung ball to draw a small weiner on the side of the building.

-1 small dung ball

you’re at dennis

you do find a sturdy looking stick, and you add that to your inventory.

+.25 atk while equipped