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Cake day: June 16th, 2023

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  • What helped me the most was finally finding a diagnosis that made sense of my issues. I had male friends who had ADHD and I did not see myself in their symptoms. Finding out that women exhibit ADHD differently changed my life. I’m high functioning, but it’s always with such great effort that I’m often wiped out at the end of the day. Now I understand why.

    As other people have mentioned: the biggest help has come from notetaking, writing things down. I have a magnificent memory, but it’s all packed tight with strange and arcane information that doesn’t help me when I’m at the store and forget to remember what groceries I need to buy or that I’m out of cat food.

    I’ve also learned that the act of physically writing things down on paper is even more effective for me. Digital devices (and I’m a computer programmer) are too easy for me to fall down the rabbit hole with. I’ll pick up my device and I’ll do 10 other things I want to do on it other than record my note! I’ve also learned that the fancy planners and stickers and washi tape are all big distractions and lead me to hyperfocus on the prettifying and not give any attention to the actual information dump I need to do. Even the choice of writing implements (fountain pen? Sharpie? pencil?) can derail me, so I’ve picked a common pen for my note-taking that I can easily replace. All the GTD (Getting Things Done) and Bullet Journal stuff was nice for giving me the idea of a structure, but again, the details of the methodology tended to block my flow, so simple bulleted lists. Everything gets a date. Bullets for ideas, thoughts. Checkboxes for things that need to get done. Small, do-able steps, so I feel a sense of accomplishment at finishing something.

    Also, learning to forgive myself was also key. I can’t be perfect, I can’t always do everything right the first time, no matter how much research my hyperfocus makes me do. I don’t have to finish every project; I’m allowed to let it go. On other projects, if I make a little forward progress, it’s something worth celebrating, not castigating myself for not finishing right away.