kingspooky [he/him, they/them]

Briefly coming out of my self-imposed exile to say rest in piss you fucking ghoul, burn in hell forever

That’s extremely sweet of you to say. I hope you would feel the same way if you had all the details but I don’t think everyone would. I feel so, so terrible now. I was misled into believing I was doing something good, and fell in love with a persona created just to trick me into doing something wicked. I’ve already lost a friend over it, and am in serious legal trouble. Serious enough to destroy my entire life if it goes as badly as it could. It’s so much worse than what I can let on will make it seem.

Thank you very much. I don’t think they will, but stranger things have happened. This is the worst situation I’ve ever been in in my life, easily.

I’m so sorry, comrades. She was lying to me. So badly I could be in real trouble. And I believed every word.
I might not be around for a while. We’ll see. I feel like I’ve let everyone in my life down, all because I believed someone’s lies.

Love a dark & stormy. Rum and ginger is a good combo, plus the name… appeals to me.

on a scale of 1 to this how fucked up over someone are you tonight

So sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling with drinking again, I know that’s a really tough thing to deal with (I fell off the wagon literally yesterday). I hope that circumstances in your life become such that the drinking no longer feels necessary.

Also hell yeah about the past two years being the best of your life. That’s amazing, comrade. I hope the next two are even better.

Doing very, very poorly. Haven’t gotten through a day without multiple breakdowns in over a week. I can’t even tell anymore if I’m sticking around through a tough situation for someone who really likes me and really needs me, or if I’m letting myself be treated poorly by someone who has realized I get very attached. Two temp jobs have fallen through in the span of the last week. What I thought was the best short story I’d ever written got rejected by the fucking magazine. I fell off the wagon with not drinking last night. Everything feels so fucked and pointless.

mood

At my wit’s fucking end. Caught strep throat while I was already having a mental health breakdown. I hate being alive.

Depends on where you get it. Underside of your forearms hurts less than a cat scratch.

really feeling this lately

Haven’t really worked food service but working retail (Costco) made me want to [REDACTED] myself and everyone around me

Thank you. I hope so too. I hope that what is stressing me stops and I can sleep again

I appreciate the advice but it’s stress/anxiety related. Melatonin will put me to sleep and I’ll wake up 3 hours later, just like I have been.

Barely slept last night 🙃 for the 3rd night in a row

We’ll see. There are some extenuating circumstances that could be making it worse, but… I don’t know, I feel pretty awful rn. Especially considering it isn’t something casual. edit: To be a little less cagey, she lives at home with an abusive relative.
the last message in our chat before she vanished was her telling me she loved me more than i understood
and then she disappeared
if thats why she’s been gone ill understand

I’ve told her a little but I don’t feel I made it clear the degree to which it affects me

Honestly, a conversation is all I want at this point.

The extenuating circumstances are pretty extenuating, but they don’t make it any easier to deal with.
It’s the strangest feeling though, because when she is around she’s so affectionate and sweet, not in the least bit distant, but then she vanishes again. Which is part of why it feels like she must be telling the truth about those circumstances.