Managing our own instincts is one thing, managing the minds of others is a very different thing. If humans know an effective way to control other people, we’re probably under its control right now.
I’m not a Buddhist, but I’m struggled a bit with some similar concerns. I think there is a lot of value in making a careful distinction between a person being responsible for what they do, and being to blame for what they do.
Consider a mistreated dog, that bites. It’s not to blame, but it is responsible in the sense that we need to take practical steps to deal with the danger.
Establishing a boundary between oneself and an abusive person is not different than putting on a coat to establish a boundary between oneself and a cold rain, it’s a practical measure, not a moral judgement. It can be done without a feeling of resentment or hate or fear, and it need not come at the exclusion of compassion and understanding.
A while back I was looking into getting a UPS for my CPAP, and what I read suggested that it was impractical because they draw a lot of power. (The power draw is even worse if you have a humidifier).